Are you IMMUNE to ARREST?!

Hello there! I hope you are doing well! I've missed sharing with you for the past few weeks. I've been trying to get caught up with alot of household things - reorganizing, simplifying, etc! But I've missed you!

I just wanted to share some thoughts with you today about what I am reading in Exodus. No - this will not be boring! :) Yes - it looks long . . .but trust me . . . it's easy to read -and well worth it! :) Take a chance! What do you have to lose? 10 minutes out of your day? :)

Great! I'm glad you are joining me for this journey! I love having company! :)

(ps - please excuse any problems with fonts, sizes, etc. . . I was having issues after copying and pasting from a word doc. Thanks!)


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Exodus 15:3 – “The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is his name.”

*This was part of the song that Moses and the Israelites sang after God delivered them at the Red Sea. I love it! Go Mighty Warrior! :)

Exodus 15: 8 – “By the blast of your nostrils the waters piled up. The surging waters stood firm like a wall; the deep waters congealed in the heart of the sea.”

Exodus 15:10-12 – “But you blew with your breath, and the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters. Who among the gods is like you, O Lord? Who is like you – majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders? You stretched out your right hand and the earth swallowed them.”

*Again – more of the song that was sung after God performed a miracle. What amazed me was the simplicity and ease of what God did versus the outcome that happened. He “blew out his breath” from a “blast from his nostrils” and then He “stretched out” his “right hand”. Stretching and breathing. Not too difficult. But the power that comes from God breathing and stretching – killed a whole army of Egyptians and saved hundreds of thousands (or a million+) Jews!! AWESOME!! I love knowing that God can do that for me as well! Keep breathing and stretching God! :)

Exodus 15:13 &17 – “In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. . . . You will bring them in and plant them on the mountain of your inheritance – the place, O Lord, you made for your dwelling, the sanctuary, O Lord, your hands established.”

Wow! God doesn’t just redeem us and that’s it. He wants to lead us, guide us, bring us in and PLANT us ON “the mountain of (His) inheritance”!! HIS PLACE! His temple! His sanctuary – that HE made – HE built, HE established with His own hands. He doesn’t want to leave us in the desert after freeing us and redeeming us from captivity – He has a better place for us to go to . . . HIS place! And it’s not just going to heaven when we die. It’s here – it’s now.

What is His sanctuary? What is His mountain of inheritance? For the Israelites – it was Mount Zion. It was a literal place – a place where the temple was built – where God “resided” – where Jerusalem was. But Mt. Zion (or Zion) is more than just a physical place in history for the Jews. It is a spiritual place – in the present and in the future – for all of God’s children! It is the promised land that He has for each of us – designed and built with His own hands. (Jer. 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you – to give you a hope and a future.”) He has GREAT plans and a wonderful “promised land” for each and every one of His kids (that includes YOU . . . if you are one of His kids)! Don’t you want to go there?! :)

To be planted is not just temporary. It’s (usually) permanent. God isn’t just taking us to His house to show us around – He wants us to live there –to grow there, to flourish and remain there! He has built a “sanctuary” for us! Webster’s Dictionary defines sanctuary as this:

1. a. A sacred place, such as a church, temple, or mosque. b. The holiest part of a sacred place, as the part of a Christian church around the altar.

2. a. A sacred place, such as a church, in which fugitives formerly were immune to arrest.

b. Immunity to arrest afforded by a sanctuary.

3. A place of refuge or asylum.

4. A reserved area in which birds and other animals, especially wild animals, are protected from hunting or molestation.

WOW!! Isn’t that cool?! He’s not just taking us to some stuffy old church or boring religion . . . He’s taking us –first of all – to HIS place – to the most holy and sacred of places – the most intimate of places. And what is the most holy, sacred and intimate place you can think of? Being in a close and intimate relationship! He is bringing us in – holding us close – AND . . . PROTECTING US! Don’t you love that part of the definition? He is bringing us to a place where we are IMMUNE to ARREST! We are protected from “hunting or molestation”! It’s a place of peace. It’s a place where we cannot be touched by the enemy -who is still out to steal, kill and destroy us . . . and would LOVE to arrest us if he could!

He unfortunately convinces many people that they are still under arrest – that they do still need to be in chains or handcuffs – that they are not really free. Yes – they may be walking around the streets “free”, but their hands are cuffed, they are dragging chains behind them – attached to all sorts of things that weigh them down, that keep them from going very far – that keep them attached to what is behind them.

If you are one of those people - I need to say this . . . . STOP IT!! You ARE FREE!!!!

You do NOT have to walk around with those chains or handcuffs anymore. Jesus went to your trial for you! HE took on your crimes. You were exonerated – your record doesn’t show that you’ve been cleared of previously convicted or committed crimes . . . your record shows . . . (get this!) . . . NOTHING!!!

That’s was “justification” means . . . it means just-as-if-I’d never sinned!! So you got to walk out of that courtroom – FREE, while Jesus stayed behind, cuffed and in chains and ready to stand trial for all that you’ve ever done. You look behind as you are walking out and you see his face. It’s not sad. It’s one of peace and love. He is happy to do it for you. He wants you to be free. Don’t be sad. Be HAPPY! He wants you to be HAPPY – to be free! The last thing – no not even the last thing – he NEVER wants you to even touch those handcuffs or chains again! They are not yours! They are His! So STOP IT! Stop putting them on. STOP wearing them. STOP dragging them around. They are NOT yours!! (Do you hear me?!)

ACCEPT the freedom that Jesus bought for you! It is not spiritual or religious to go around dragging your chains and feeling like you are “paying” for your sins. Your sins have already been paid for!! End of story! No questions asked! It’s a done deal! Can you accept that deal? Can you accept that awesome gift?? Just imagine!

Imagine that you were in Jesus’ shoes. You decided to take the place for someone – maybe your son or daughter, a friend or relative. You decided to have their record totally cleared and erased, and YOU would take on all their guilt and punishment. You did it because you love them so much – because you want them to have a better life – you want them to go out of the courtroom – FREE – and enjoy the life they are being given.

What if you saw them leave, but as they left, they picked up a set of handcuffs and chains? What if you saw them outside the window of the courtroom and they had already put on the handcuffs when they ran into an old friend. People around them started saying to them - “Hey – didn’t you commit this crime? Why aren’t you in chains? You should be. I can’t imagine having the audacity to walk around as if you hadn’t committed that crime! Who do you think you are?? You’re not anyone special. You are a criminal. In fact – maybe I need to take you back into the authorities and have you arrested. You don’t have the right to be walking free.”

What if you saw your loved one agreeing with them – falling for the lies that they were saying (because – it did make sense – it was logical and rational)? I know it would break my heart! I would want to scream at the top of my lungs through the windows for them to hear . . . “Run fast!! Don’t listen to them! Drop those chains and handcuffs! They are NOT YOURS!! I have yours on! Don’t you see?! Don’t you remember?! I HAVE YOUR CHAINS AND HANDCUFFS ON!!!”

Then your loved one walks away. He/she walks down the street and gets into the car – with difficulty – having to slowly drag the chains behind them, then load them into the car. It takes so long and is so heavy that they later decide, it’s just too hard to go anywhere.

“It’s too hard to go outside – not only because of the heavy chains – but because of what people will say. There will be those that knew me before – who knew the “real” me – and will see the chains and think nothing about it. They were used to seeing me in chains. In fact – they accept them because they have a lot of their own. They help me add some more links to my chains, add on some heavy balls to weigh it down even more . . . just for the fun of it. ‘Let’s see who can carry around the most weight!’ It’s as if it’s a game to them. But I don’t find it fun. I don’t find it enjoyable any more. I used to – when I didn’t know anything else. But I don’t anymore. I got a taste of freedom. I felt the lightness in my step, the ease at which I could walk, the freedom to go anywhere I wanted, as fast as I wanted, without a care in the world. I could smell the sweet aromas in the air – and follow them to their source. I could feel and enjoy the warmth of the sun, without wanting to curse it because it was making me all the more hot and sweaty as I struggled to drag my chains. It actually warmed me as I ran in the cool breezes. I knew what that was like. So now – this “game” is not so fun. But I am stuck. I don’t know how to get out of these chains now. I don’t know that I will ever be able to get outside and enjoy life again. I also don’t like going out with my chains, because there are those that know I’ve been set free – and now they are looking at my chains – judging me for still having them. Some of them are totally free – and I’m jealous – envious – wondering why I didn’t stay that way. Then there are some that “say” they are free – but I still see the handcuffs – I still see some small and even large chains. Those people seem so hypocritical. Though, some of those people are nice to me. Some of them really do want to help me – but I just think they all want to judge me and send me back to jail. So why bother. How can I really tell which ones really want to help me anyways? And forget about going to church. I can’t go back in there now. What if the people there see my chains?”

Your heart breaks as you see what your loved one is going through. This isn’t what you signed up for. This wasn’t the plan! Why doesn’t your loved one just drop the chains?! They are not really permanently attached – he/she only thinks they are! It’s a lie. It’s a scam! They are really FREE! You ask for a phone call – to be able to talk to your loved one. You dial the number – but no one answers. On the other end, your loved one sees it’s you calling. They are too ashamed to pick up the phone and talk with you. They don’t want you to know that they are not really enjoying this life you paid for them to have. Sometimes you call and they don’t even hear the phone ring. They’ve put the phone away – turned it off possibly – because they just can’t bear any more guilt and shame in knowing that they let you down – that they just “couldn’t” grasp hold and continue to hold onto that life of freedom that you gave them. They occasionally keep trying to come back to the courtroom – to another court – to be tried again for their crimes. The police keep telling your loved one that that’s a good idea –“yes – you should turn yourself in and pay for your crimes.” But each time they bring you before the judge – He looks at your record as says “Why are you here? I don’t understand why you think you need to be here, to be in chains, or to pay for any crimes. You don’t have a record. So take off those chains and handcuffs and leave them here in the courtroom. They are not yours and you do not need them.” The police seemed shocked and surprised – but they encourage you to take off the chains and handcuffs. But you don’t. You choose not to. You just don’t believe that the judge knows what He is talking about.

How long will you keep doing this?

How long will you continue to walk in unbelief and be weighed down by your chains?

Would you like to see your record?

Let me show you.

Romans 5:6-11 "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

⁹Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! ¹⁰For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

Romans 3:21-26 "But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. ²²This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to ALL who believe. There is NO DIFFERENCE, ²³for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴and are JUSTIFIED FREELY by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ²⁵God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate HIS justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶he did it to demonstrate HIS justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”

YOU (yes YOU!) have been “JUSTIFIED FREELY”! Remember – justified means “just as if I’d never sinned”! No record!! BUT – to attain that freedom – to have those chains fall and stay off – you have to have FAITH – BELIEVE – which means . . . you have a CHOICE! Do you keep the chains on . . . or will you let them go – and believe (no matter what if “feels” like or what people tell you) that you don’t HAVE to wear those chains anymore. They are Jesus’ chains! Let Him have them and carry them. He’s strong enough! In actuality . . . . He already carried them . . . then threw them in the face of the jailer – the one who wants to keep you in chains!!! (Satan)

So – Are you ready to go to Mount Zion today? Are you ready to “be” like Mount Zion today? Make a choice today!

Psalms 125:1&2 -"Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which CANNOT be SHAKEN but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore."

Hebrews 12:22-24 - "But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, ²³to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, ²⁴to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.”

Make a choice today – Go deeper (& Higher!) You won't regret it!

L :)

Prayer for the nation - and LOVE!

Here is a link to the mp3 recording of the national prayer conference call that happened on Thursday, Septemeber 24th, 2009.

Please listen and pray along for our nation! God loves us - and wants us to return to Him - to be the bride He has created us to be. He wants to hold us close - to let us not just "know" that His heart beats for us - to just "know" that He loves us ("Jesus loves me this I know - for the Bible tells me so") . . . . but He wants us to FEEL His love for us - to FEEL His heart beating for us.

Our hearts are the source of our lives. If our heart were to stop beating - we would die. When we die - we are separated from those still left here on earth -from relationships here.

God's heart (His love) is the source of life for each and every one of us. It is the source of His relationship with us. If His heart (love) stopped beating . . . . the relationship would die. Many people have thought they felt this (to a degree). They do not "feel" or have not "felt" God's heart beating for them. They have all the head knowledge about God - about His love for them - about what He has done for them . . . . but they've never ventured close enough to let God (their heavenly Daddy) HOLD them close . . .hold them close to His chest to FEEL His love for them - to hear and feel His heart beating . . . . just for them. However - His heart has never stopped beating for them. Not yet.

God doesn't need to have a heart to live. He is eternal. He is all-powerful. He doesn't need a heart to live . . . . but He chose to have a heart . . . He chose to love . . . . He chose to let His Son (Jesus) experience what it is like to have a human heart . . . and then to let that human heart die through the choice of sacrificing himself on the cross. Jesus' heart stopped beating. He died. For us. He endured the physical and spiritual separation that comes with death - that comes when a heart stops beating. He did that for us . . . . because He doesn't want us to have to endure it for eternity ourselves! . . . . . and then in His marvelous power . . . He came back to life! He overcame death . . . for us! Once and for all!!

There will come a day when people will no longer have the option of being able to feel God's heart beating for them. There will come a day when His arms will no longer be open - inviting anyone and everyone to come close - to be held by Him - to experience His love - His transforming love. That day is coming soon. God wants you to know - that day is coming soon. For some of you - it's sooner than for others. But for the whole world - it is still coming soon.

His heart's cry is for everyone to know that He is here . . . waiting . . . waiting to hold you and love you - to let you hear and feel His heart beating - to feel His transforming love that will forever change your life . . . if you let Him . . . if you let Him hold you . . . If you choose to stay close to Him - aware of Him - in relationship with Him. . . . .Not just to know "about Him".

I could know all about my husband - where he grew up, what he likes, dislikes, if he's a Republican or Democrat, if he is a morning or night person, how he treats others, etc. But unless I CHOOSE to enter into a relationship with him - a personal, close, intimate, hear-and-feel-his-heart kind of relationship . . . .I will never fully KNOW (through experience) his love - especially his love for me!

THAT is what God wants for everyone. To show them His love - experientially! He's shown it in so many ways . . . and yet we keep asking for more "proof". There comes a point when you just have to make a decision - when you have to choose. . . .

Choose to believe. Choose to get closer to our perfect heavenly Daddy today. His arms are still open . . . . wide open! It doesn't matter what you've done lately (or in the past). He's not afraid of getting dirty! :) The messier the better! :) He just loves holding His kids and loving on them!

As the Beatles put it - "All we need is Love, Love. . . . Love is ALL we need!" :)

Go closer (and deeper) today!

Lori :)

Perfection

I wanted to post my own personal testimony that I shared with my local MOPS group a few weeks ago.

Sometimes you come across blogs or websites that you like - but wonder - who is this person writing all this really?

Well - there's no secrets here! Satan likes to keep us in bondage through our secrets - and I, for one, am fed up with it! I am loving the freedom that Christ died on the cross to give me -and I want more of it! I know that God LOVES to take what the enemy meant for evil, and use it for good - to change lives, to set people free, to minister to our broken hearts,and more!

You've got to read my other post called "Redesigning your Shackles and Chains"! You will see your past and the chains that have held you captive in a new light! You'll be ready to fight for your freedom and live in it!!

Drink a little deeper today!

L :)

May 20th, 2009 – MOPS Tea and Testimony day

Some of you have known me for years, and others of you I’ve just met. Either way – I have some questions for you. What do you see when you look at me? What kind of person do you think I am? Shy or Outgoing? Introverted or Extroverted? Fearful and a worrier, or a strong woman of faith? . . . . What characteristics or adjectives would you use to describe me – right now – as I am now?

I have to be honest with you and tell you . . . I don’t have it all together and I’m not perfect! :) I know . . . I know . . . I’m sorry to let you down. :)

I have to be honest about something else too. I know that none of you are perfect either. :)

I’ve never been perfect. Shocking, I know. :) (well – my mom and dad might have thought I was perfect when I was born . . . till I kept them up all night crying and pooping and wanting to eat!)

Actually, while we are alive on this earth – you and I will never be perfect! So why do we strive so hard to try and attain it? Why be a perfectionist? It’s unattainable. . . . at least while we are alive. As Christians, when we finally say goodbye to this earth and our mortal bodies, we will finally attain the perfection that is promised to us. But not until then.

However, that doesn’t mean we have the freedom to just do what we want and live haphazardly – throwing caution to the wind and living in sin (because “what’s the use in trying?” if we can’t attain it?). No. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 13:11 –“... Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.”

But it’s not by our might that we will attain perfection. It’s only through the Perfect One – Jesus – and the grace and mercy He gives that we will ever be made perfect.

I know that many of you, like myself, have struggled with this lack of perfection in your life – not sure if you are doing everything right as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, sister, daughter, etc. You have issues from your past that have repeatedly whispered to you – reminding you of your imperfection and your inability to attain that perfection. “You’ll never be good enough. Look at what you’ve done. You’ll never be as good as her. . . .” We constantly compare ourselves to others – thinking that they are much closer to that perfection that we are striving for.

But let me clue you in on another secret. . . .

Most of the people we look at and think “man – they’ve got it all together. They never had an issue in their life. I wish my life was like theirs” . . . many of them are where they are in life BECAUSE of the issues and trials they have gone through and the imperfections they have worked through in their lives.

James 1:2-4 are some of my favorite verses (in fact – I love the whole book of James!). . . . ones that we all need to not just read – but really live by – to believe and put into practice (as James even talks about later in his book).

“Consider it torture my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds? (whine and complain when it gets rough?”) Is that what it says? No . . . It says – “Consider it pure JOY, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, NOT lacking anything.”

Verses 5 - 8 go on to say –
“If any of you lacks wisdom (ME!), he should ask God, who gives generously to (Just me? . . . . No . . to ) ALL without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

I started off telling you all this today because - I am who I am today because of the trials I’ve been through (not necessarily the easy times in life). I am who I am today because of the temptations I gave into and the victories the Lord gave me over those sins. I am who I am today because not only did Jesus save me – but I decided to take hold of what God promises me in the Bible – and to put it into practice! These aren’t just words to tickle our ears – but they are life-giving, transforming power to mold and shape us into the strong, Godly women, mothers, friends, sisters, and children that God wants us to be!

I grew up in a Christian home as a Pastor’s kid – the oldest of 4 kids. For most of my early years of life I was very sheltered and protected – living in a small town (less than 1900 people!) in Minnesota for 7 years, and then 2 years in Florida – where I attended a Christian school. We moved here when I was 15 and I was so naïve and shy. I had always been shy and unsure of myself. I even wrote a song once about knowing everyone by their feet – because I really did. My head was always down – sometimes looking for “treasures” (money, rocks, etc) – but in school – it was because I was shy. My parents were very loving and would “force” me to do things that they knew I would enjoy, even though I was deathly afraid (like going to camp where I didn’t know anyone, etc). I was so thankful they did that for me (and that God still does that to me!)!

I was afraid to speak my mind – even when it came to what I wanted for Christmas, sometimes. I was always second guessing myself – telling myself that it was too selfish to ask for certain things (because it would cost too much . . . we had 4 kids in the family, etc). But then I would get my feelings hurt when I saw my sister getting everything she asked for because she wasn’t afraid to ask. I was afraid that my opinion was stupid or didn’t really matter, afraid that people would laugh or make fun of me, etc. I was (and still am) very mercy-oriented, and always seemed to latch onto the underdogs, the hurting and the needy. I felt people’s pain, and took it on as my own. I was a very sensitive child and was hurt and disappointed easily and had some relationship issues with my dad that definitely affected me.

When we moved here, I went to public school. It was a shock to me and everything I had been used to coming from a Christian school. There were 2000 people in my Jr. High (more that my whole town in MN)! I wasn’t used to the cussing, the rudeness, the lack of love, the drugs and drinking, etc. However, I still had a heart for these hurting kids. One morning while waiting at the bus stop, a girl was telling me her problems with her boyfriend. My heart went out to her, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really understand it all, and that broke my heart. I didn’t know how to help her. I got on the bus and looked out the window while I prayed “Lord – I really want to help these people – but I just don’t relate to them. I don’t understand what they are going through. Please help me to understand.”

That’s not the kind of prayer you want to pray casually! It’s kind of like praying for patience! It’s not just given to you!

From that day on – things changed. My life didn’t fall apart overnight, and I know the Lord didn’t make things happen or cause me to sin or fall into temptations. They were all my own choices. But through a series of experiences and situations – I definitely got “real life” training on how to relate to these kids in the world around me.

I spent a good portion of my 10th grade year very depressed and suicidal. Over the next couple years, I got somewhat involved in drinking and tried smoking for awhile (but decided, out of vanity – to quit because I didn’t want to ruin my “beautiful singing voice”! J). I did manage to stay away from drugs (mainly because of this one kid that always called me when he was high and telling me “man Lori – you’re so lucky . . .you have a dad who loves you!”. He just always sounded stupid on the phone and I, again out of vanity, (God will use anything!) didn’t want to kill my smart brain cells! . . . though – somehow that thinking didn’t translate over into drinking and other destructive behaviors too. Hmmm . . ).

I slowly continued down a path of discovery and self-destructive behaviors. This path wasn’t fueled by rebellion as much as it was really just a young, insecure girl looking for love and acceptance and willing to try new things. Yes, rebellion was there, but I just really wanted to feel loved and accepted more than anything (don’t we all?!). Shortly after high school, my boyfriend and I broke up for the last time. We had dated off and on for 4 years – he was my first real love, and we thought we would marry one day. That wasn’t the case. The relationship was over – but there never was really any closure to it. Because of where I was at in my life at that time (spiritually & emotionally - living a rebellious life and feeling unloved) – it just did me in and I totally gave up on life. I didn’t care what happened to me, to my body, to my life – everything. I was very good at lying (to the point I actually didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was saying and I think I lied more than told the truth) – thus I lived a double life – a good little pastor’s kid in front of my parents and the church, but a different person internally, at work and around my “friends”. The lies and double life were killing me. Mentally I was a sliver away from heading down the path of alcoholism, and I had come to a place where I understood how someone ends up as a prostitute or living a very promiscuous life. I had so much self-hatred, low self-esteem, low self-worth, and lack of hope in my life, that I really didn’t care what happened to me, what someone did to me, and I just wanted to drown my misery away.

But . . . Even though I didn’t care . . . God did care! And He had a plan! Amazingly, He was still watching over me and had His hand on me.

Even though I was living a rebellious life, God still, somehow managed to convince me (more like – bombarded me with people all telling me the same thing!) to sign up to go to YWAM (Youth with a Mission) and do a 6 month DTS (Discipleship Training school) in Lausanne, Switzerland. Actually – I was just looking forward to escaping all my problems here and going to Europe and finding some great places to party and meet some cute boys! J That was MY plan. But . . . God had other plans!

When I was 18 and at the bottom of the pit – sliding towards what felt like Hell – I went to work one day. A quiet chef at the restaurant where I worked said hi and asked me how I was doing. I barely looked at him and said “You don’t want to know”. He continued talking to me and said “I do know Lori” and then he proceeded to tell me everything that I was struggling with and involved with that I didn’t think anyone knew about (including my involvement with a married man at that time). He then said something that opened my eyes and gave me hope – “Lori, the Lord must have some awesome plans for your life if the devil is working so hard to mess it up!” And that was all he said.

I walked away stunned. I couldn’t believe it. It was an epiphany to me. What? This wasn’t all my fault? I wasn’t so bad and such a total loser after all? I wasn’t too damaged beyond repair? Maybe God really does have something good for me. Maybe. . . . But . . . I was still just going to Europe to party. I’m not so sure about all this God stuff and living with a bunch of Christians – especially in an intense Christian “greenhouse” environment. We’ll see.

So, I left for Switzerland around Jan 1st or 2nd, 1990. But within 2 weeks - By Jan 16th – God had gotten hold of me! I was filled with the Holy Spirit and set free from so many things! I was happy, alive, free, and drunk in the love of the Lord! (and waking up happy without a hangover too!) I was a totally different girl! Many of my parent’s prayers were answered! I attribute much of my short stint in that pit of Hell to the prayers of my parents constantly being ushered up for me during my whole life! I know that is one of the main reasons I didn’t slide further down and away – and why I am still alive today! (So moms – PRAY for your kids!! It’s fighting battles in the spiritual world that we may never know about or see!)

At the end of my DTS, most everyone agreed that I had the most dramatic change in the first month from when I came. God literally saved my life – not just spiritually – but physically, mentally, emotionally, and in all ways!

That doesn’t mean I went on to live a perfect life. Not by any means. I still struggled with many of the same issues when I came back from YWAM (and even on my DTS some) – but God was and is still refining me – every day – every month – every year. I kept (and keep) holding onto the verses in Jeremiah 29:11-14a – “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.”

Isn’t that an awesome promise?!

In YWAM, on a walk in the woods one day, God asked me, “What do you want Lori? You can have anything.” Of course – money always pops into my head. (I did always like money!) But - We had just had a wonderful woman speaker – Reona Joli – talk about her amazing adventures in faith – and I was so impressed by her strong faith – her unwavering faith – no fear – total reliance and dependence on God and His promises to her – even in the midst of danger! THAT’S what I wanted. I was tired of being so shy and unsure of myself. I was tired of not being able to fully speak my mind. I was tired of worrying about things. I wanted to be like that woman – a woman of faith. So that’s what I asked for.

And that’s what I got! J Again – watch out what you ask for! It didn’t happen overnight – but it’s been a process – a developing of perseverance – so that I may “be mature and complete – not lacking anything” as James says. I’ll be in this process my whole life. But the peace that has come, over the years, as I have trusted in the Lord and His words and promises to me – is something I would never want to lose! I can’t imagine living life without that peace! It didn’t come easy. I had many experiences that have truly tested my faith. But by “choosing” to believe in God (and not myself, my husband, my job, my circumstances, or even my feelings) – and allowing God the opportunity to “come through” and hold up His end of the deal – my faith has grown tremendously.

The last few years it seems like He’s been doing so much more in and through me– and I’ve been learning and grasping more and more of Him every day. I think I was too complacent for many years when I came back from YWAM. I kind of pulled back from God for a couple reasons – One was - that I didn’t know how to live in this world with the same passion and giftings that I had in YWAM in the midst of all the struggles and temptations here. And the secondly – I thought God was mad at me and couldn’t use me anymore (or for quite awhile) for some things I had done. I thought I had let Him down and wasn’t worthy anymore. But I’ve been learning over the last 8 years that that’s not true at all. God LOVES to use the unworthy! Look at who He used in the Bible – David (and adulterer and murderer – but he was “a man after God’s heart”), a donkey (how worthy is a donkey?), Paul (who was Saul and persecuted Christians), Moses (who was unsure about his speaking abilities and was a murderer), etc.

I am totally enjoying the journey God has me on now and I’m looking forward to what God has for me in the future with great anticipation and excitement!

So – this strong, woman of faith that you see today (or the bundle of mess you may see too) – is who I am . . . because of what I’ve been through, what God has done (and is still doing) in me, and what I have chosen to grasp hold of (and to ask for) and then put into practice!

I don’t even recognize the person I was in high school and college. I don’t even recognize the person I was 5-10 years ago. And I hope that in 5-10 years, I still don’t want to recognize this person now!

If you asked me what verse represents my life – where I came from and where I am now – it is Psalm 40:1-3
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.”

Isn’t that awesome? He can take you and me out of the pit – clean us off and put us on a solid place to stand. And because of it all . . . others will “see . . . and put their trust in the Lord.” It’s by seeing where we have come from and what He has done - that they are led to Christ! How awesome is that?! God can use our JUNK for His glory and to bring others to salvation!

I love the Lord with all that is in me, because He saved me from all that was in me! I love much because I have been forgiven much. And I am continually being forgiven much!
I am not perfect. I know you are not perfect. God knows we are not perfect. And the enemy knows we are not perfect – yet he likes to try and rub it in our face! And yet, the amazing thing is . . . . God still loves us UNCONDITIONALLY!! (Just like we love our kids – even though we know they are not perfect! J ) And if we let Him, He is able to take our imperfections and refine us into something beautiful! Not just for Him to look at – but for others to see and to draw them to Him!

That’s all I want to be. A beautiful conduit for the Lord and His glory, power and love!

That’s it! That’s me! :)

Catch the Fire!

I have thoroughly been enjoying the Catch the Fire conference at CBN this week (click the link to watch online). God has been touching so many lives - healing people from physical sickness and pain as well as emotional, mental and spiritual issues. God is AWESOME!!!

I know that many people are leary and unsure about all the "manifestations" - the shaking, falling down, laughing, etc that goes on at the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship and the Catch the Fire Ministries. I was too at first. However, I loved what Duncan Smith said tonight at the conference about it! He said "I'm a man that is just trying to cope with God on the inside of my skin!"

Just imagine . . . the God of the whole universe comes and touches you, comes and fills you up with His spirit . . . . . with His indescribable and overwhelming love . . . .

Do you really think that you could just sit there quietly, not moving?

If you have never experienced that kind of love, that kind of power, that kind of encounter with the creator of the whole universe - I can understand your point of view. I didn't get it either. I thought they were all a bit kooky . . . a bit nuts. But as Duncan also said - "I may be a nut . . . but at least I am screwed onto the right bolt! Jesus!"

There is fruit coming from this ministry! I don't judge by appearances - but by the fruit.

Matthew 7:15 - 20
"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."

I know that I would be dead today (literally) had it not been for the Holy Spirit coming in and filling me up and touching me (19 years ago) in a way that I had never experienced before! I would be dead had I never learned - not just through books and knowledge - but experientially learned - about my Daddy's love for me (God the Father's heart for me as His daughter)! I needed to FEEL His love for me - FEEL His heart for me - FEEL His forgiveness - be delivered from some things spiritually and more. I couldn't get all that from just listening to a nice sermon or reading a devotional. As a pastor's kid I grew up knowing and hearing all the stories and knowing in my head,intellectually, about God. But I didn't "know" him experientially till I was 19.

I had to EXPERIENCE an encounter with God . . . my creator . . . my savior . . . my Daddy! It is that experience - that LOVE that will change you forever! It will ruin you for the normal. It sure did for me!! I don't want "normal" anymore . . . I want GOD!

Still think I'm crazy?

Have you ever been in love? . . . . . So in love - all you could do is just think about that person all day long. You wanted to be with them every waking moment. You wanted to hug them, kiss them, touch them, laugh and cry with them . . . You just couldn't get enough of them! When you thought about them a huge smile came to your face. And if you were ever apart for an extended period of time - when you saw them again - you couldn't contain yourself - but wanted to run right to them - screaming or laughing or crying and reaching out to hug and hold them tight.

I see some of the same emotions and expressions of love at the long-awaited homecoming of the navy crews on the carriers. I see alot of the same antics at rock concerts. Jumping, screaming, shaking, longing, crying, laughing, etc. People do get a bit "nuts" when they are in love with something or someone.

Well . . . I am in love with Jesus!!! So, yes . . . .I may act a little strange when I get around Him. But I really don't care - because I know how His presence has changed my life!!! I NEVER want to go back to my old life again!

If you are curious as to what I am even talking about here - ie. you've never heard of Duncan Smith with Catch the Fire Ministries, or John and Carol Arnott from the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship (ie - the Toronto blessing) - then watch some of the conference online at CBN.com. They will be streaming it live tomorrow (10am, 2pm and 7pm) and have archived the other sessions from this week. CBN also does a weekly Spiritual Gifts Seminar on Mon, Tues and Thursday nights (Thur is from TACF in Toronto, Canada).

Check it out!

You may just find the love of your life! I pray you do! You will never be the same again!

Christianity is not about religion. It's about a relationship. God doesn't want to be in your life (and you be in His life) because of how much work you will do for him and how loyal you will be. He is in it for LOVE! Just like a marriage. Would you be in a marriage if all your spouse had "contracted" to do was just work hard for you, stay loyal and clean your dirty underwear?! No - you want to be loved, to love them.

It's the same with God! Christianity is about a love relationship with God . . .not religion!

I challenge you to seek after that love! God is ready and waiting to shower it on you (no matter what your past or present situation or life looks like!!! Trust me!!)!

Be brave to go deeper!

L :)

Time to Rescue

I find it fascinating how God will quietly and secretly intertwine things in my life to make a point. He does it all the time . . . but I have to pay attention. Many times it may seem like a coincidence - but I know it's not. I've heard Him talk to me so many times in my life through various means, that I know it is by His design and not just some coincidence. Lately there have been a few themes running through various channels in my life (like preachers on tv, my own devotional times, random conversations with friends, etc). The first of which is that God has been getting on my case about my procrastination in writing the book He wants me to write (and in writing in general - but especially the book). OK Lord - I will be diligent and intentional in writing this book! (you guys are all my accountability partners! Keep me accountable!)

The 2nd thing is that He wants my children (ages 4-13) to start moving out in the giftings that He has placed in them - that we are to pray with them to be baptized in the Holy Spirit and start teaching and training them in how to move in the power of the Holy Spirit. Kids do not get a junior version of the H.S. - they get the same version that we as adults do - and they can do miracles and move mightily in the Lord just as much (if not more) than adults. Kids have tremendous and unhindered faith - and I want to see the Lord use that faith to work miracles and move in the lives of their friends, our neighbors and anyone they meet! I also want to see my kids living passionate lives for the Lord and experiencing His awesome love for them at an early age! I think that would have saved me a lot of heartache and mis-steps in life had I experienced it.

The 3rd issue that He has been talking to me about is that this year is a year of "Salvation". That we are to be "bringing in the harvest". He has been speaking to me about it for a couple of years now actually - but there is definitely more of a mandate to do it NOW (no more procrastinating!).

Back in October, when I was soaking in the Lord's presence, God showed me 2 things.
"Listen Lori",God said. I heard singing/praise. "But some of the choir is missing. They are not all here yet." I could see big gaps/holes in the choir that was all over the world (like looking at a globe with people standing on it. There were big empty areas across the globe. There were areas of concentration, but then areas with nothing - no one - even in places in America.) We need to bring the people in!


Secondly - I was singing about being thankful for God rescuing us (from eternal death, from situations in life, etc).
Then I saw a vision: It was a picture of a rope and then a life saving ring. WE are that rope/ring. It's time to get off the boat and be willing to be thrown out to rescue people - to bring them onto the boat. Stop sightseeing and enjoying the ride and get out there rescuing people! The "hole" in the middle of the ring (the middle of us) is from previous wounds - that have been healed. It is there to create a place for people to fit in and for us to wrap around them to take them to Jesus (who is the captain of the boat) and can pull them out of the water. Then, when they have been dried off, redressed, fed, and healed - God can throw them back out to rescue more!

Do not let your past hinder you from thinking you are useable by God. Do not think that just because you have a few "holes" in you - that you are not worthy enough to be used by God to rescue and minister to others. God LOVES to use ALL parts of us - for His glory! Your "holes" will allow you to reach people that would otherwise be unreachable. Your "holes" give an open door for others to feel safe in sharing with you their own pain, struggles and "holes" in their lives. Use your "holes" to bring those hurting people to the Lord. Let HIM rescue them. You are called to just bring them to Him! But in order to do that - you HAVE to get OFF THE BOAT!! You cannot rescue people from the comfort and safety of the boat. You can see them - but you will never be able to rescue them that way.


Get off the boat! Get out of your comfort zone! Allow God to use you in ways that seem scary (ie - flying through the air - only held on by the rope), that are new, that seem like they won't work. Sometimes you have to be thrown several times in order to finally connect with the person in need of resucing . . . . don't let that stop you! Keep letting God throw you out to them! One of these times you WILL connect. Don't give up!


The other time God talked to me about "holes" was when I was praying on Wall Street in October. It is a slightly different version of "holes". I posted about it - Praying on Wall Street But here is a portion of what God said.

" . . . I have new oil to pour out – but can’t. My people are not ready – not ready to accept it. Get them ready!”
How? “Tell them. Prepare them. Encourage them. Correct them. Say what I tell you to say - in doing so you will create holes in their hardened exteriors. These holes will cause them to become like sponges. THEN they will be able to soak up ALL the oil I have to pour out on them. Then they will be ready. They are not ready. But make them ready. Show them their need for these holes. They see it as damaging to who they are. I see it as vital for them to grow and be who I want them to be. Show them Lori.”
How do I show them?
“Be transparent. Show them your holes. Show them the oil you’ve been able to soak up because of those holes. Don’t hide your holes. Show them. Then they will see and know that I am God and that what you say is true.”

I am full of holes! Holes created by God - tearing out some of myself, my flesh to make room for more of Him and His spirit. And some created by myself from all the stupid things I've done - the self-inflicted wounds, and even the wounds caused by others that I allowed to fester and get bigger before being healed. I'm sure there will be more holes to come. But I do not look at them negatively now. I see the value in them. I WANT them. I WANT God to take away MY flesh and give me HIS! I WANT His oil! I WANT to be able to be used by God! And I love knowing that God can take a selfish sinner like myself - and use me to bless others and rescue them from death! Isn't that awesome??!!

So - examine your "holes" today.
Which ones do you need to let God heal?
What areas do you need to let God make a few more holes in?
Are you willing to get off the boat - to be thrown into the wind and waves in order to save a precious soul? What if someone hadn't done that for you? . . . . .

If you are in need of rescuing - please let me know . . . let someone know! It is so much easier for the rescue party to know who needs to be rescued when they shout out "help"! So if you are serious about getting out of the water that you feel you are drowning in . . . please shout out for help - to others around you - or to the captain of the boat Himself . . . Jesus!

I pray that 2009 is truly a year of salvation - not only for you - but for many, many others all around this world! I am excited to hear the sounds of the choir when all the members are there! How glorious it will be!

Dive Deep today! Or at least - allow yourself to be thrown in the water! :)

L :)