What are you Soaking in Today?

I know I haven't posted in awhile - but as I mentioned in a previous post or two - I started taking classes in January. I'm part of a School of Supernatural Ministry here locally, but we are using the curriculum from Bethel's School of Supernatural Ministry out in Redding, California. I also said this before too - but if you haven't checked out this church, what it's doing, what they teach and preach . . . you need to! Their church is not only changing their city - but their reach is spreading across the globe - to bring healing, deliverance, salvation, love and power to the world!

Bill Johnson - head pastor (as well as other pastors and leaders from that church - Kris Vallotton and Danny Silk especially) has written some incredible books that have been rocking my world! They have opened up my eyes to seeing scripture in new ways, to seeing myself in new ways, to finally understanding more about just WHO I am as well as WHOSE I am! It has been setting me free!

Bethel Church broadcasts many of their services - worship and teaching - on ibethel.tv. You can watch some things for free, and then they also have subscription services - 3 different ones - depending on what you would like/prefer.

Most every day I listen to one of their videos - whether it's just worship or teaching. I used to put on Joyce Meyer every day in the morning (tv, or sometimes online) as I got ready for the day - now it's i-bethel. Occasionally I will also put on a webcast from CBN's Spiritual Gifts Webcast archives at CBN.com. I have also listened to Beth Moore as well (You can hear here at Oneplace.com, or you can watch her on LIFE Today with James and Betty Robinsin here. LOVE that lady!).

By doing this - I am feeding my spirit, healing my soul, and training my mind. I also recently picked up the Bible on CD's (dramatized version) from the library and have occasionally put those in while getting ready in the morning, doing chores, or driving around. (I need to do that more.) I have found that I look at/hear the scriptures differently when I'm listening to it rather than reading it. It's opened my eyes to new things!

I do still watch one tv show a week (LOST) - but that's it (and occasionally a movie . . . but not as much as I used to). Why fill my mind with the ways of this world? Why fill up the empty spaces in my thoughts, heart and emotions with things that don't satisfy? It just leaves me feeling empty still and like I've just wasted part of my life. I don't want that. I want so much more out of life. I want that abundant life that Jesus said he died to give me! He DIED so I could have it! If He died for it - then it must be something good!! NO - GREAT! It was worth dying for! (I was worth dying for!)

We are what we think about. We think about whatever we have put in our minds - through our eyes, our ears, our experiences . . . so . . . .

What are you "soaking" your mind, spirit and soul in these days? I would challenge and encourage you to take note of what you are putting before your eyes, ears and in your life. Is it bringing life into your mind, heart, emotions and life? What kind of life do you want to have? That abundant life that God has for you? Go after it! But remember - it all starts in our minds - what we think about! (If you struggle with this - with your thought life - I would recommend Joyce Meyer's book - "Battlefield of the mind"!!)

I posted signs around my house - not only for my kids, but for my benefit. One of them says "What are you soaking in?" and has a picture of a sponge and a brain. Below it is the verse Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE - if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY - think about such things."

The other quote I have posted is this:

Watch your thoughts - they become your words.
Watch your words - they become your actions.
Watch your actions - they become your habits.
Watch your habits - they become your character.
Watch your character - it becomes your destiny.

What are you soaking in today?

Soak in the deep water from the Lord today! Be refreshed - and renewed with LIFE!!

I've added links to many of my favorite "wells" that I currently "drink" from or have in the past. Check the "aqueducts" on the right sidebar!

Drink Deep!

L :)

Do you know WHO you are?

I love thinking about how intricately God designed us – designed me! Even down to my name – having my parents choose the name Lori (meaning – Victorious one!) for me. He didn’t leave any detail undone!

I was watching my cat yesterday, sitting in the window sill, enjoying the breeze coming in from the open, screened in window, but at the same time – longing to be outside – to be chasing the birds she would see in the yard, to be running around in the grass - nibbling on it, exploring, tasting, smelling, chasing, crouching, playing (with other cats), running – free! I could tell it was driving her crazy to be inside – especially with the windows open! It looked liked torture –to be able to not only see the outside world (now that the blinds were open), but to be able to smell, feel and experience just a little bit of what lay outside – but to be stuck inside! She longs to be outside so much, that she will hide out by the door, crouching and waiting for someone to open it so that she can make a mad dash to try and escape – to be free!

I then thought about the last cat we had. She had been a stray – abandoned and left on her own as a kitten. We found her at about 5 months old – barely skin and bones, dirty, covered in ticks. We took her in, cleaned her up, loved on her, fed her (till she was fat!), and more. However, she still remained traumatized. She was full of anxiety and fear – of noises, of us - if we moved to fast, if we tried to pet her when she wasn’t expecting it, or even if we tried to pick her up. But one thing that frightened her the most, was going and being stuck outside. She would be curious – looking out a closed or screened-in window. She would occasionally try to venture outside, very slowly, smelling, testing, watching to see if it was safe . . . but all the while, still very nervous and unsure of herself and of the outside world. Once, she had ventured outside as I was bringing in the groceries. I didn’t see that she had gone out. When I was done, I closed our sliding glass door and started heading towards the kitchen. As I turned, I saw our cat anxiously run to the door and start clawing at the window, pacing and meowing a fearful cry. I opened the door and she bolted in. She had been so afraid that she was going to be stuck outside.

Cats were designed and created to be outside – to be hunters. We see this in most big cats (Lions and Tigers, etc) – out in the wild, free, hunting their prey, enjoying the sun and wind, the shade and stillness of the day, playing with each other, running . . . free. Housecats were designed the same – only on a smaller scale. We have tamed them, raised some by hand, loved on them, taught them to use a litter box, and made them pets, but deep inside – they still know they are hunters, that they have been designed to be outside – to be free – to be chasing birds, squirrels and rabbits. If we allow them to go outside – they will do just that. If we keep them indoors, they may long for the outside, but they will eventually become accustomed to indoor living – to being taken care of, and to being fed (instead of having to hunt for their food). Animals in captivity can become so accustomed to living this way and being taken care of, that if you tried to let them loose in the wild, they would starve to death – not knowing how to hunt for their food and to really live in the wild. Some animals might actually prefer to remain indoors (or in captivity) because of traumatic events/memories of being out in the wild (as seemed the case with our last cat).

What has God designed me to be? What has he designed me to do? Who am I really? What am I capable of? Have I been in “captivity” so long, that I don’t know? Do I still feel like a slave/servant in my relationship with God? Or do I know my true identity – my position as a daughter of the Lord of glory, the King of kings, the creator of this universe? Do I know that I was not only designed to run free – to chase, to explore, to do great things, to enjoy the sun and shade, the wind and calm, to enjoy relationships and “playing” with others – but that I actually have the freedom to do just that?! I do! How about you?

God has been graciously revealing more of Himself, more of who I am, more of what I was designed to do and be, more of my identity – as royalty – a royal priest (and princess), and not a sinner any longer. I am no longer dirty, starving and covered in ticks! I have been brought into his house and lovingly restored – but not so that I will remain in His house as a servant or as a slave – but so that I could be adopted – as His daughter! I have full access to EVERYTHING my Father has – to ALL of His kingdom! It is mine to enjoy – to run free, to experience, to explore, to have fun in! I love that! I love it that God didn’t save me and bring me into His home to just clean me off to make me His servant. He rescued, saved, cleaned, and restored me – and ADOPTED ME! Little ole me . . . is a Princess now! ☺ Woo-hoo!

I also love it how He didn’t just bring me into His kingdom to keep me here either – to keep me “indoors”. He brought me in, to love me, clean me off, feed me and restore me – so that I could then be free to go back outside at any time – to go enjoy all of this life He gave me – to reach out to others still stuck outside and help them come home, to be adopted, cleaned up, fed and restored. Yes – we were created as eternal beings – to live forever with God in heaven one day, but we were also designed and created to live on this earth – not to live here, afraid, full of anxiety (What if we get dirty? What if we get “ticks” or get sick? What if we mess up, or can’t find food, or meet an enemy bigger than us?) – but to live in freedom – running, exploring, laughing, enjoying the company of others, hunting (finding food), fighting off our enemies with victory, and so much more!

We were intricately and lovingly designed this way. But too many of us don’t know it. We are comfortable just being fed, being taken care of, being “indoors”. Life “outside” is just too scary and unpredictable. Yes it is – unpredictable . . . . but it is so full of adventure! ☺

Then there are some who have lived outside for so long – enjoying the freedom, but not realizing the benefits of having a home to go to – when it rains, when you are tired, when you need some support, love, encouragement and more. These people have never been adopted into God’s family – and to them – it looks restrictive and boring. To them it looks like they would have to give up the fun and freedom, and become something else – become a servant/slave, stuck “indoors”. What they don’t know, is that if they truly came in and met their creator – and realized that they were being adopted, cleaned up, fed, restored – they would ultimately be set free . . . more free than they had ever been before! Then they could go outside and not worry if they couldn’t find food – their Father would have some waiting at home for them! They wouldn’t have to worry about shelter or other basic needs to be met. They wouldn’t even have to worry about enemies – because one cry from their lips would bring their Daddy running!

Being adopted into God’s house is not about living under the law (rules, policies, should’s and should-not’s) – but it’s all about living under grace and love! It’s about being free to live in a loving environment, in a loving relationship, where all our needs are met, but where we have the freedom to also be who we were designed to be – every part of us! When you know WHOSE you are . . . then you know WHO you are! And I, for one, am a child of GOD – forgiven, cleansed, restored and set free! . . . .

Me-ow! ☺

L:)

If you would like to know more about just who you are - and see if your perception of your identity is more of a pauper or more of a prince - go to Kris Vallotton's website for an online test. You might be surprised! I know if I had taken this test even just a couple years ago - my score/answers would have been drastically different!

Tired? Weary? Pink Dandelions?!

I just wanted to share a private conversation I had with God back on Dec. 26th, 2009. It's an honest picture of how I was feeling that day - hiding nothing. The reason I am willing to share it with you today is because it was encouraging me even more today - and I thought that it might encourage you! I hope so! None of us are perfect - but God is - and I'm thankful that He will take all of me - and give me all of Him in return! :)

Take a refreshing sip today!

L :)

L – Happy Birthday Jesus (a day late)!! Ok . . . so I know it probably wasn’t the exact date. :) But I love celebrating your birthday. I just wish it wasn’t filled with so much busyness and stress as well. Of course – all birthdays do that to me – when I am planning a big celebration. It always turns out nice – but it stresses me out through it all. :( I hate that.

I am glad to finally be here at the beach house in NC – though I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the people, commotion, and stuff. I just want to get away – by myself – with you. I have felt trapped at home with kids, etc. for 3 months this fall (sick kids, and then a sick hubby – gallbladder surgery). I feel wiped out most of the time. I just want to sleep – but can’t really. I tried this afternoon – but couldn’t really sleep with the noises in the house (18 people!). Anyways . . . I won’t complain anymore. . . I know you like to hear my heart though.

I need you. That’s my heart. I NEED YOU!!! I don’t feel like myself lately. I’ve felt depressed – though I don’t have much to be depressed about. I don’t know if it’s just that my body is worn out from all I’ve been doing/taking care of . . . or if it’s from not getting to spend time with you like I would like.

I went to a friend's church a couple weeks ago. It was a blessing. 2 ladies after church prayed for me – and said some interesting things. One thing was such a confirmation of what you had just said to me recently – about having to let go of something. She used the word “abandonment” – that I would have to abandon something. But that it was “soooo good!” (she said with smiles) With you confirming that so soon – it makes me wonder if you will ask me to let go of something pretty soon. ?? I guess time will tell. Don’t let me miss it. :)

The other thing that was interesting was when they said that I would “find my rest in continuing to go forward” – that as I kept stepping forward, I would find my rest. That I didn’t “miss it” or mess things up this fall (as I had wanted to spend hours and hours in your word, with you, writing the book, etc – but instead have felt like I’ve just been taking care of sick kids, doing household chores – shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc). I feel so tired though – to keep going forward – to keep doing this. Something is just not right – something is “off” – and I don’t know what it is. :( I hate it. My husband senses it too. He keeps asking me “what’s wrong with you Lori?” And I don’t have any answers to give him. I don’t know. ?? I can only make guesses. So –I’ll ask you . . . what’s wrong with me?? Will you tell me? Why do I feel so depressed lately? Why do I feel so short-tempered, critical, etc? Is it just an attack? Are you working something out in me? Am I not eating right? Enough exercise? Too much? What?? I need you – and I need you to help me. I need you today. I especially don’t feel good today – kind of sick (sore throat, headache, sinus stuff, low fever,etc.). I don’t want to feel sick. I rebuke it!!!

So God . . . what do you want to say to me today? Come and be with me right now . . come sit and talk with me – comfort me – heal me – show me – guide me – love me. :) I’m here . . . wanting to be with you. I need you – so much. I can’t make it in life without you!

G – Hi Lori. :) You know I’ve always been here.

L – I know.

G – I never left. I’ve been walking with you every step.

L – I know. I know it in my head –and at times I could feel you near . . . I just am not feeling like the same woman I was a couple months ago – on fire, full of joy, passion, life, energy, etc.

G – I know. What happened?

L – That’s what I’m asking you! :)

G - :) I know. I’m teasing. I have watched it all Lori. I have seen it all. I have heard all your cries, your tears, your anger and frustrations. There ARE things that I want to work out of you. I do want you to see the need for more of me in your life – for more of my power, my transforming power and love. You cannot give away what you do not have. You need more. You need a lot more. And I want to give it to you. Do you want it?

L – of course . . yes.

G – But it comes with a price . . .

L – what kind of price.

G – A big one.

L – what?

G – all of you. You give me all of you – and I will give you all of me. Does it sound like a fair trade?

L – no. :) From YOUR perspective. :) You get all of me – my limitedness – and I get all of you – your unlimitedness – eternal – infinity . . . .

G – sound fair?

L - :) I’ll take it.

G – Good!

L – But what more do you need of me that you do not already have? I feel like I am always trying to give you more and more . . . all . . .of me. What haven’t I given over? What do you still want? It’s yours!

G - :) I’m glad you say that. I’ll take it! There is more though. You have areas of your heart that you have guarded. You have kept your hands over those sensitive areas to protect them. You haven’t trusted anyone with them – not even yourself, your husband, or even me. I want those areas Lori. I want all of them. Every speck, every part, every hurt, every thought, every memory . . . I want it all. You CAN trust me with them.

L – what areas are you talking about? See – I don’t even really know (I have felt so foggy-headed lately anyways – I’m not surprised). What areas? I want to give them to you. . . .

G – Close your eyes and watch what I show you.

L – Ok. . . . . I see you prying my hands away from my heart some – gently. You are pulling something out of the top of my heart. It looks like a dandelion seed – like when the seeds are ready to blow off the top – light and airy. But the whole stem is like a seed too. ?? what does that mean?

G – See how easy it will be? Just open your hands and let me take it out and blow it away. It’s dead – ready to be released into the wind. When it is – then it will spread far and wide –and cause new plantings – new growth – in places you haven’t even gone – places you haven’t even traveled to. My wind will carry it instead. All you have to do is let me take it out of you and blow it away. Are you ready?

L – but what is it? And if it’s something bad – why would you want to cause growth somewhere else with it?

G – it was bad when it was alive – but it’s dead now.

L – but, if it was bad when it was “alive” – wouldn’t it cause new bad things to grow?

G – no – not this seed. Watch.

L – I see it blowing away – in the wind – high and far . . . for quite awhile. I’m not sure where you are taking it or where it will land. But it’s floating – easily – gently – no struggles. It lands in a very green

grassy area – someone’s lawn. Someone who prides themselves in having a perfect lawn. This seed lands and digs into the ground and starts to germinate – to grow. It’s not detected at first . . . not until the seed had taken root and the plant has grown. There a flower to show that it’s there. It is “announcing” it’s there. “look at me” it says. “Look at me – I don’t belong here! Look at me!”. The owner of the house (someone rich – well to do – someone who doesn’t normally manage his yard –but has others to do it) – he comes out and sees this dandelion. It’s not supposed to be there. How did it get there? Where did it come from? He would call his lawn guy – but instead, he decides to go pick the dandelion himself. There is something about this weed –something about this flower that draws his attention. It’s different. He’s not used to seeing it. Maybe he hasn’t ever seen one. Maybe he doesn’t know what it is? ?? He is curious – so he goes to pick it out of his perfect yard. He picks it up and inspects it. “What is this?” he thinks. He decides to take it to an expert – to get their opinion. What is it? The expert doesn’t know. He’s never seen anything like it before. It’s pink!

Dandelions are supposed to be yellow. This one is pink! Why? Is it really a dandelion? This has caused so much interest, that the lawn owner, and the expert both start doing research, asking around – trying to figure out where this pink dandelion came from. They just HAVE to know! It’s so unique – so different – so . . . pretty even. But it just makes them curious at all costs.

They finally figure out the direction of the wind – estimate the distance it could have traveled. They start traveling the way they think it came from. They start to see more pink dandelions along the way. They ask around –where did those come from? People don’t know – but many don’t care. . . many didn’t even notice. There were so many weeds in their yards already – that they didn’t even notice. So the men continue – they find more and more – until they come to a yard that is FULL of pink dandelions. The whole yard! This must be it. This must be the source. They go to the house – to find out from the owner, where these came from? How did they get to be pink? What happened? And why did they let their yard become full of them? Weren’t they a weed??

The owner opens the door. It’s me. (?? Really??) I tell them. . . . these were planted by my Father. It was the red blood of Jesus that stained the dandelions pink. It covered all the yellow – all that symbolized “bad” (the weed) –and turned what was weeds, into beautiful pink flowers! The pink flowers were not bad. They were good. They still had a way of multiplying – and taking over a yard – of going far and wide and affecting others. But this wasn’t a bad thing. It was good. Beautiful. It was God’s design! It was His design to begin with! Light and airy – the good seed would travel . . . and plant new growth. Easy. Not difficult. Easy. The hard part was letting go of what we are used to – a perfect lawn of green grass. . . . . boring . . .the same as all other lawns. And so much work – to keep it perfect. This is easy. Just let them grow – let them overtake the lawn! Easy!

The man and the “expert” are amazed. They are shocked. They didn’t think anyone would ever purposely let their yard become like this. But at the same time – they are not disgusted – they are intrigued. They want to know more. They want to test this out. They want to see what happens – what happens “if” . . . . They ask if they can take some of the dandelions back to their yards – to their neighborhoods, their cities . . . I say yes! Go ahead! Take as much as you want! More will grow in it’s place! So they do. And they go on to spread more and more of these beautiful pink flowers. What started as curses – turned into blessings. What started as sin – turned into joy – into fresh vision – into beauty.

L – God I do want you to take every part of me – not matter how ugly it had started out as – and turn it into something beautiful – something that will self-propagate in other people’s lives – that will transform them completely!! For ALL to see!! I want my life (my lawn) to be totally different – totally unique – totally visible to all I meet – that I am in love with YOU – that I am filled with you – and your love! Transform me Lord – change me! Use me!

G – Lori. I am. You are unique. You are different. All my kids are – they just don’t always show it. They try to be carbon copies of each other. It breaks my heart. I spent time thinking about each and every one of my kids – designing them – their special talents and abilities, their special looks – and then what do they do? . . . try to copy each other. It makes me sad. I want them to be unique –to be special – as I designed them to be. The only way they will ever know how unique and special they are – is to try to copy me – to look at me. I am like a mirror. When they look at me – they will see themselves – just as I designed them to be. They will see all the good I have created in them. They will see all the talents and abilities I’ve placed in them. They will see all the things I want THEM to do . . . . But they have to look at me – not at each other. At me.

Lori – you have been looking at others too much. You do look at me – but you look at others who are looking at me. I want you to look at me. I want YOU to look at me. See me. See all of me. Emulate me. Look into the mirror and let me show you YOU – who you really are – who I’ve fully created you to be. Stop looking at others and look at me! It’s in doing that – that you will fully know who you are and what you are to do . . and then you can walk proudly and boldly in who I’ve created you to be and do!! You will be proud to be YOU – to be unique – to be and do what I’ve designed you to do. Who cares if no one else is doing it? Who cares if no one else thinks a yard full of pink dandelions is beautiful! Who cares? I’m the only one who should care – and my thoughts and opinions are the only ones you should care about. The others don’t matter. So look at me – listen to me – read my word – spend time with me . . . and ignore all the other stuff. It won’t tell you who you are – and it won’t tell you your worth. Only I can tell you your worth! And to me – you are worth millions!! Billions!! More than you can imagine! :)

L - :) I’m so glad! To me – YOU are worth EVERYTHING!! I can’t imagine living life without you! I can’t live life without you! I do want to know who I am – to know who you are – to be able to be fully free to be me – to be me with my family – with my friends – with my neighbors, etc. I want to be fully free. I want more freedom. I thought I was doing pretty good – feeling so much more free. But I guess there’s more. :) That’s good. I want more! I want to be rid of all my petty frustrations – my short-tempers at times, my selfishness, my criticalness, etc. I want to be rid of it all. Does it ever go away completely? . . . here on earth? :) I don’t want it anymore. I’m tired of it. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Heal me. Cleanse me. Transform me. Use me. Renew me. Change me. I’m sorry. Thank you for forgiving and loving me completely!! You are awesome! I don’t know what I would do without you!!

Jeremiah 6:16 – “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

“ancient paths” – the tried and true ways of Judah’s godly ancestors.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Isaiah 28:12 - . . . “This is the resting place, let the weary rest”; and “this is the place of repose” . . .

Exodus 14:13&14 - “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (however, in the next sentence, the Lord said “why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” (Moses then raised his staff and the red sea was parted!)

Lord. . . .I want your rest – your resting place. I want to dwell there. I want you to fight for me. I am willing to “walk in” the good way, the ancient paths – and I want the rest you promised!!! Thank you Lord for your rest – for your peace – for your joy! Thank you for fighting the fight for me! All the time! Everywhere! Thank you for loving me soooooo much! You are awesome!!! :)