Resting imparts a melody like no other!

God has been trying to teach me how to just "rest" in Him for this season.

I've been in a season of transition for awhile - feeling like I have been stuck in a "lock" - you know - the kind where a boat goes into, in order to transition from one body of water to another higher (or lower) body of water. I have felt stuck here for awhile . . . waiting . . . waiting . . . not doing much . . . waiting . . . all the while - knowing that there is a huge body of water that I was designed to sail in - to be a part of - to take dominion over and live in . . . my promised land. But for now - I'm stuck . . . in nothingness . . . or so it seems.

However, a lock is not nothingness. It is something. It has a purpose - a very important purpose. The boat needs the lock to get safely to the higher body of water in a quicker way than having to go the long way around to it (or not getting to it at all).

I know that in my head . . . but actually living it out - just "resting" in God's love and not "doing" something . . . it's hard. He's been on my case about just "be"ing instead of always wanting to be "do"ing something for him.

BE with Him . . . instead of striving to DO for Him.

That's hard for me. I've always been a "do"er - a planner . . . but now - I'm supposed to just be a human "be"ing like He created me to be - instead of trying to be a human "do"ing. How do I do that?

So I've been contending for God to reveal more to me about REST. How do I do it? What does that look like - especially when you have 5 kids to take care of and your hand in a bunch of other projects? How long will I have to rest for? When will I get to the big body of water/my promised land? Don't I need to be moving forward towards it - instead of just "resting" . . . whatever that means. . . .

Well - today I asked God what was on His heart. He told me "Write what you see". So I did. Here is what I saw. WOW! Boy did it encourage me and help me to see the importance of resting in/against his love! As a nurse, I do know about rest and how it helps the body and would encourage all my patients to rest to let their bodies heal . . . but sometimes I don't always take my own advice. :) I would also think about how we would get patients up fairly quickly after surgery - to get their blood flowing and moving - to also help them heal (and prevent problems). So -where's the balance?? I'm ready to jump up now God . . . to go . . but you are telling me to just rest??

Well - here you go . . .

- - - - - - - -

I see your (God's) heart . . . huge – pulsating . . . red, but still multicolored – kind of swirly multi-colored – it’s hard to describe. It’s red – but it’s also all the other colors at the same time . . . kind of like it’s alive and moving. So hard to describe.

I see your heart pulsating . . .slow and strong. It’s a good heartbeat. Nothing stops it. Nothing makes it skip a beat. It’s steady and continuous. It doesn’t stop. It can’t and it won’t. It is huge, strong and immovable.

I see someone, really tiny compared to your heart (your heart is just sitting on the ground or something – but upright) – and they are coming up to your heart and touching it – putting both hands on it and trying to push it over. They are amazed that your heart can just stand there on it’s own – with no support – no connections – nothing to hold it up – but yet it does stay up – beating away. This person tries with all their might to push over the heart – to topple it down. . . but they can’t. It doesn’t even budge! They try harder. They put all their weight into it – pushing, pushing, pushing . . . but nothing happens. They get tired and exhausted and sit down in front of it with their back to the heart – leaning up against it. They don’t know

what to do anymore. They realize that they are never going to budge this heart from it’s spot.

As they lean back and rest –catch their breath – they feel something. They hear something. They notice something that they didn’t notice before. As the heart beats against them and vibrates against their body – a song is being played – being transferred straight into their heart. They can almost feel it – and hear it – but not with their ears. . . .they hear it with their heart. It is not audible to anyone standing around the heart or from a distance – it is only noticeable when you are resting up against the heart. The music transfers directly to this person’s heart.

It’s a beautiful tune – a beautiful melody – full of calm, rest, peace, joy, and lots of love. It fills up this person’s heart and they can actually feel their heart getting full – growing – becoming un-shriveled and filling up. Their heart had become dehydrated – shriveled like a raisin. But this melody – it fills up their heart like a liquid – filling in all the dry areas – filling it up completely full . . . so much so – it starts flowing through their veins. Now this melody is flowing through their veins and into their whole body. As it flows – it brings new life and strength into them. The person feels rejuvenated – alive – new. They hop up and are able to run around – full of strength and energy and joy!

They go back to the heart – and as they barely touch it – they are able to push the heart over. But it’s not in a mean or angry way, and it doesn’t do any damage to the heart – but the heart has become as light as a feather – able to be moved easily and definitely able to be carried around (even though it looks silly and crazy to be able to carry around a heart that is so huge!). It is still beating – still strong – but it is movable now – easy to transport and carry to other places. I see this person carrying the heart to new areas, new lands. He sets the heart down and it stands up like it did before – strong, unmovable . . . well – unmovable to other people. He is able to move it – he is able to carry it – but others come up and try and try to push against it with all their might and nothing happens. It doesn’t budge. But this man is able to carry it and move it. Easily – as light as a feather.

The music flows through his veins even when he is not touching the heart. It is still flowing through his body via his heart. He loves that music. It makes him dance. It makes him sing. It makes him joyful and happy. Others see him and are curious. They don’t hear the music – so they don’t understand what he is singing – why he is singing – what he is dancing to. They think he is a bit strange . . . but he shows them.

“Here, sit by this heart. Lean up against it. Just rest. Don’t do anything. In fact – don’t even look towards it – but lean your back up against it. Just lean back and rest against it. You will hear it – you will see what I’m talking about – why I’m dancing and singing and full of joy!”

So they do – they sit down and lean back against it . . . more out of curiosity than anything. There are some that don’t even want to try . . . they’ll just watch others. But they think it’s all a hoax. How can just leaning up against something like this really transfer music into your body. It’s impossible. Maybe they are just feeling the beating of the heart and that tricks their mind into thinking they have music in them. They really don’t – right?

These poor people. They will never get it – until they try it. They will explain it away, rationalize, intellectualize, have theories, research studies, and supposed “eyewitnesses” of people who have experienced it and can prove it’s a fraud. How sad. How terribly sad.

But the people who actually take the man up on his offer – to really rest against the heart – and I mean FULLY rest (not even trying to hear or feel anything – but just sitting there to rest) – they do start to hear it. It amazes them! They get up quickly – but it’s too soon. Their heart has not been filled yet. It was just a little that got in - a drop – and as soon as they got up, the excitement and music quickly faded. “Hey . . . how come it’s not working?”

“Sit back down and rest! Rest till you are completely FILLED and it is FLOWING through your veins! You are still dehydrated – still shriveled . . . there is a lot of filling that needs to happen. So REST! I’ll tell you when it’s time to get up!’ the man says to the people.

Some of them sit back down and fully rest – but others are “too busy”. “Well – I tried.” They say to themselves. “I guess it just doesn’t really work for me.” Some of them even convince themselves that maybe they were already full enough. It was nice music – but they have other music that they dance and sing to . . . so it’s ok. They have too much to do anyways. Maybe if they get some more time later on, then they will come back and rest some more.

How sad.

But those that go back to resting – get completely filled up!! The melody and music starts flowing through their veins as well. NOW they are able to get up and run around – with endless energy – AND – they now realize that they too can pick up and move this huge heart – just like the person that came and showed them! WOW! So cool!

The music is IN them now. It is NOT external. It is IN them . . . wherever they go. They have the melody of God’s heart flowing through them at all times. It gives them life. It gives them strength. It gives them purpose and energy. It directs them and makes them want to go to new territories – new lands. The old life seems dull and boring now. The old music is useless. It did nothing but tickled the ears . . . but THIS music – THIS music actually DOES something! It is ALIVE! It is LIFE! It is eternal and endless and amazing . . . it’s indescribable!

Soon there are a lot of people running around – fully rested, filled and capable of moving and carrying God’s heart around – to show other people – to help others become filled. But it all came when they rested . . . when they stopped PUSHING against God’s heart and love – and instead, chose to REST UP against it – to lean into it – in a place of total dependency. There was nothing they could do to make the music transfer to their heart . . . other than to just rest up against God’s heart.

And now – God’s melody of love will be carried around the world – by a bunch of heart carriers and conduits of God's love – all dancing and singing to the beat and melody of God’s heart! So cool!!

- - - - - -

What do you think? Does it make you want to go rest now?! I want to!

Later on today God showed me something else related to resting that encouraged me. Instead of having to walk and trek through the woods, up hills, down valleys, through the mud, etc - to get to my promised land . . . God told me to "wait . . . wait here."

Why? Don't I need to keep moving forward to get to where I need to be?

Nope . . . A plane was coming! It was going to take me to the next place I needed to be! It was ok to take the plane - and it was also ok to have fun and enjoy the people I am waiting with! Cool!

He said - at some point all the people waiting will all get on their own planes - but for now - wait, rest, have fun, laugh, stop striving (it won't make the plane come quicker), and enjoy where God has put us! :)

Ok . . . I can do that!

Anyone up for some FUN?! :)

Rest DEEP against (and in) God's heart and love today!

L :)

Ephesians 5:18-20 - "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Isaiah 40:28-31

Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
²⁹ He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
³⁰ Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
³¹ But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

God cares even about the "little" things!

How are you feeling today?
Are you feeling loved? Cared about?

Do you know that God cares about you . . . about EVERYTHING in your life? Even the "little" things? It's true! He does!

Don't believe me? I have proof - that He really does care about what we/you care about! Let me share a few of my favorite stories with you!


Several years ago I was on my way to work after attending an event at my child's school. I had to get back to work quickly and relieve my friend who had stayed late on her shift to cover part of mine. I had not had dinner yet, so I thought I would stop by Wendy's and pick up something to eat on the way. I looked in my wallet and realized that I only had $1 and some change (this was before they started taking credit cards). I knew I could only order a Jr. Cheeseburger. But as I pulled up to order, I started craving a bacon cheeseburger and fries!! Yum! I wished so bad that I had more money to get what I was craving - but I just ordered my $1 menu burger and pulled to the window. I sat at the window contemplating "I wonder if I asked for free fries if the man behind the counter would give me some?" I was gearing myself up to be brave and ask, but then I saw a sign on the window that said something about conversations being video-taped, etc. I didn't want to get the man in trouble, so I kept my mouth shut. I politely said thank-you as he handed me my bag with my $1 menu burger.
I started to pull away, but decided to look in the bag, just to make sure he had my order correct (how could he mess it up?!). As I opened it - I soon realized he didn't give me what I had asked for! Instead, he had given me what I wanted . . . A bacon cheeseburger and fries! I quickly looked back to see if maybe he gave me someone else's order. There was no one in line behind me, and there was no one even inside waiting in line (or eating). It was empty! The man was still at the window, looking out, smiling a funny smile at me - like he knew I had just found out about the fries and burger.

I was stunned. I was happy. I wondered if that man was an angel, or if God had just used that man to bless me?? Either way - I was late. I drove off to work, smiling and thanking God for blessing me with what my heart desired (as silly as it seemed)! Wow! God really did care about me and the little things in my life!


Another time, about 6 or 7 years ago, my oldest son had been playing on a playground near the baseball field where his brother had practice. As any good Star Wars fan would, he faithfully brought his favorite Star Wars figure with him to play with on the playground. It was Luke Skywalker in a Storm trooper outfit - complete with removable helmet. Towards the end of practice, my son told me he couldn't find the helmet. He had lost it in all the mulch on the playground. Ugh. Like a good mom - I helped him look and look, but couldn't find it. Finally, we had to leave, but he was sad and afraid that his helmet was lost forever. I told him that there was something we could do. We could pray. God knew where the helmet was, and if He wanted us to find it - then it would be there next week when we went to practice. So we prayed, and my son seemed happy and content with that.

The following week we went to practice. I have to admit that I didn't have a lot of faith that we would find that helmet in all that mulch a full week later (and a full week of hundreds of school kids playing on that playground). I went to sit down on the bench (near where my son said he had lost it) as I usually did to watch him play and my other son practice. As I sat down, I looked down - and there between my feet . . . was the helmet! It was as if someone had placed it there just for me to find! Thank you God! My precious little boy learned that day that God really does care about him and even the little things in his life!


Last fall, my daughter decided to play basketball. The night before her first practice, we realized that she didn't have any sweatpants to wear. I told her I would take her to get a pair. She told me she wanted Justice sweatpants (like her friend had). I told her - there was no way I was going to pay $25 for a pair of sweatpants to wear at basketball practice (we have 5 kids to feed and dress, and 1 income) - but that we were going to go to the thrift store and look instead.

There are a couple thrift stores that I frequent more often than others, but this night I felt an urge to go to one I rarely go to. I had quickly thrown up a prayer to God before leaving - "God, it sure would be awesome if we could find a pair of Justice sweatpants at the thrift store - in my daughter's size." Off we went to find something that fits . . . hopefully.

As we were perusing the pants rack . . . my daughter had pulled out a couple things, but got sidetracked by the dress and shirt sections. So I continued to look. I pulled out a pair of royal blue sweatpants that looked like they would be her size. I checked the tag . . . yep - size 10. Then I saw the back of the pants . . . JUSTICE. :) God is good! Practically brand-new looking Justice sweatpants, in her size . . . and "just like my friend's!" she said. AND 50% off! :) I sure do love my Daddy and how He takes care of us - and how He cares about the little things we care about!


Ok - this is the last story that I wanted to tell you about (and the one that spurred me on to writing all the other ones down too).

This past week, my 2nd oldest son, who is in 7th grade, was having a school dance. It's nothing fancy - the kids all come in their jeans and favorite shirts, eat pizza, soda, and usually stand around while the music blares. Last year he wanted to leave half-way through the dance as it was crowded, loud and very hot in the cafeteria where they were having the dance. I didn't think he would want to go this year. But he did.

About 3 days before the dance, he informed me that we "needed" to go to Kohl's and buy him a pin-striped suit! :) Oh really?! Why? One of his best buds had one, and they both had the exact same type of pin-striped Fedora hat - and they wanted to match for the dance. I kind of dropped the subject and bascially told him that I wasn't going to be going to Kohl's to get him a pin-striped suit.

10pm then night before the dance (Thursday night) he comes up to me and says "Mom - we need to go to Kohl's! When are we going to go get my suit?" I again explained that, although I would LOVE to buy him one, I don't have the money for a suit right now (plus - I know he would be "bored" with it, or move onto the next fad very quickly). I told him I was sorry, but they would just have to wear their hats instead.

My heart grieved. I so wished I could bless him and see him all dressed up and having fun with his friend like this. I wished I had all the money in the world at my disposal to give my kids all their hearts desire. But I don't. BUT . . . my Daddy in heaven has an unlimited supply of resources . . . all kinds of resources! AND - he loves to bless his kids, surprise us, take care of us, and show us that He really does care about the "little" things in life.

So - the next day I prayed - "God, I know you helped us find those Justice pants for my daughter. Will you do the same for my son - and help me find a pin-striped jacket or suit at a thrift store? I know you can do it. Will you?" I had some errands to run that day, but I kept seeing in my mind's eye - this one thrift store that I rarely go to anymore (a different one than before), and kept seeing me finding a pin-striped jacket there. I was not in that area, so I tried a different thrift store. No luck. Just one that would fit me (way too big for him). I didn't have high hopes that I would find one his size (12) - and pin-striped. I wasn't even finding ANY boys suit jackets at all.

As the day went on, my errands brought me closer to the thrift store I saw in my mind, and I debated on whether or not to stop and look. I almost didn't. BUT, curiosity got the best of me . . . plus, I still had a little bit of time before the kids came home from school. I parked and went in.
As I headed back to the kid's section, I first stopped at the adult rack of suit jackets. Nothing. Not even a pin-striped jacket - just black, brown and blue ones. Man - there is no way I'll find a kid's one.

I headed to the boys racks - and was passing through the pants section to get to the shirts and jackets. I walked by a pair of jeans, but backed up and stopped to look at them. They looked like my son's size, and the type he likes to wear. They were. I pulled them out to buy them, and then saw a couple swim suits that were my youngest son's size. I decided to just look through the pants section for any other pants that might be on sale (the yellow tags were 50% off that day). As I was sliding the pants over one by one . . . lo and behold . . . in the middle of all the pants . . . was a black, pin-striped jacket! I got excited! But - what size was it? . . . . . I started to tear up as I looked at the tag . . . Size 12!! And on top of it all . . . it was a YELLOW TAG . . . 50% off (only $2.50!)!! I'm still getting teary-eyed as I write this!

God cares so much about my son (and me) - that He showed me exactly which store to go to (out of ALL the tons of thrift stores in our area) - to find a pin-striped jacket . . . in my son's size (and probably the only one in this whole area!) . . . just so he can go to a 7th grade, public school dance, and feel "cool" with his best friend!! :)

Isn't that AWESOME?!

Don't we have the best DAD in the WHOLE universe?! :)

God DOES care about you . . . . ALL of you . . . about EVERYTHING you care about . . . the BIG things and the LITTLE things! He really does care!

The other thing I want you to see here too is . . . God does have UNLIMITED resources to meet our needs - and even some of our crazy wants! But those resources don't always come like we think they will or should (ie - getting a raise, finding money in the mail, winning the lottery! etc). His resources are unlimited . . . His ways are unlimited! And He LOVES to surprise His kids!!

I could go on and on with the various ways God has shown me and my family just how much he loves us (through protecting us, providing for us . . . yes - even through winning a sweepstakes - etc - but that's another story!) - but . . .

WHAT ABOUT YOU?!

How has God taken care of you?

What are the stories you can tell of God's provision - of His protection - of His ways of showing just how much He cares for you? If you can't think of any - start paying attention . . . . not just to the big things . . . but the little things. You may find Him in so many surprising places and events that you would not have noticed before!

I could have chalked up all of these things as "coincidence" or "good luck" . . . but that's not what they were. They were heavenly kisses from my Daddy - just to say - "I love you . . . A LOT!"

He says the same about YOU!

Let God love you a little deeper today (and show you how He is)!

L :)

Forecast - An Abundance of Sunshine!

(photo by Chad Johnson)

Yes -that was our forecast here yesterday - an "Abundance of Sunshine"! I love it! I have never heard that in a forecast before. I've heard "Mostly sunny, Partly sunny, Sunny" - but never an Abundance of Sunshine! It just made me smile!

No matter where you are in this world - you too had an Abundance of Sunshine yesterday (and today, and tomorrow . . . )! You did! I'm not lying! Maybe I should have written it - "SONshine".

God really is everywhere! He is the "Light of this world"

John 8:12 says - "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

See? You will NEVER have a dark day again! It is possible! It's possible to have an "Abundance of Sunshine" every day!

What do you have to do? . . . . Follow Jesus! That's it! It's not about a set of rules and regulations, a bunch of commandments and lists of things you are now not allowed to do. It's about a relationship - about walking and talking with Him (being real with Him) - about what you DO get to do - about just how close you can get to the creator of this world and the savior of our souls! How close can you get? . . . . VERY! As close to the Light as YOU want! He will NEVER push you away, or even run away from you. Deuteronomy 31:6 (and other places in the Bible) tells us this! "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

YAY! Isn't that great news?! Isn't that a great "forecast"?!

So - if you are worried about the "forecast" for your life today (or tomorrow, next week, next month, next year . . . ) . . . . Let me be the first to tell you - It is filled with an ABUNDANCE OF SUNSHINE!

Step a bit closer (and deeper in) to the Light today! You'll see!

L :)

Disillusioned with organized church/religion

Alive
New
Fresh
Powerful
Real
Authentic
Passionate

These, and many other adjectives, seem to be the buzz-words of this generation.

"I'm not going to church anymore because it's just not alive . . . authentic . . . real. . . etc . . . I'm really discontent and disillusioned with the organized church. I need something more - and I'm not finding it at church."

I hear many similar statements all around me. I, myself, have felt quite discontent over the past few years. It surprised me at first. What was wrong? Was it me? Was it the pastor? Was it the preaching . . . the worship? Was it just this church? Should I go somewhere else? I was ready to leave. I wasn't hurt. No one had stepped on my toes or bruised my feelings . . . I was just feeling really . . . well . . discontented. I didn't like that feeling and I wanted to leave. . . . immediately!

But I didn't. Instead, I asked God - "What's going on here?! Why am I so discontented? Am I supposed to leave this church and move on to another one that is more [alive, fresh, new, passionate, real, authentic, or filled with power, signs & wonders]? What are you saying?"

God showed me a vision of a river. It was flowing nicely - fairly fast - but not too fast. It was still exciting and fresh. The river turned a corner and it seemed to slow down. It turned into more of a lake now. To me it looked stagnant - not going anywhere. It wasn't fun and fresh and powerful like it was before. I don't want to stay here. This is boring. This isn't "me".

I saw a lot of wildlife coming to the water - to drink - to float on - to live in. Little fish were able to grow and thrive in this slower (almost still) water. But they had to be careful of the birds that would swoop down to try and eat the fish near the surface. I then saw down deeper . . . there was a fast moving river down deep below this lake. Down there, the fish were safe from the predators on the top of the water.

There was more to the vision -but what I felt God was telling me was . . . . "Stay where you are. Go deep and stay deep. That is where the river is flowing fast still. Your job is to let others know it's down there. Call them into the deep Lori. Eventually you will leave this lake, but not for now. Stay deep." He showed me that even though the lake seemed to be stagnant at first - it really was teeming with life . . . a lot of new life . . . new life that needed a safe place to grow and strengthen and to be shown the deeper areas. For now - this lake was necessary for the life it was to attract. That made sense. So I stayed. (**That may not be what God tells you in your situation . . . so make sure you listen to Him! He knows you best!!)

However, there is an increasing population of people (the younger generation especially, but I am seeing it in all generations as well) that are feeling discontented with "church". Is this "the devil"? Is this God? Should they quit church? Start their own church? Not "do" church? What should they do? It may be different for everyone - but there is one thing that is constant in this day and age . . .

God is calling to His bride! He is beginning to woo her, love on her, and reveal Himself to her in new ways that we have never experienced before. The atmosphere IS changing, and the discontent that people are feeling is not all bad. It is a hunger . . . a thirst . . . for the deeper waters, the deeper things of God.

But people don't know that. The enemy sneaks in there and starts whispering in their ears (just like he did in the garden of Eden and all throughout history since then) . . . "The church [God] isn't meeting your needs . . . .This isn't what you want . . . This isn't what you need. . . . What you need can't be found here [in the church/God] . . . What you need is somewhere else . . . Why don't you just "try" something else - because 'everyone else is doing it' . . . " He whispers lies that we believe, that cause us to get hurt, that cause us to get angry, that cause us to lose hope that there really is anything out there that can satisfy this discontent, this hunger that we are feeling deep inside.

Ohhhh . . . I hate the devil and his sneaky, wicked, evil schemes! I especially hate it when I fall for them!

But here's the good news . . . . You are HUNGRY! You are THIRSTY! THAT is what that discontent is all about! I know it doesn't feel like it most times. It feels like frustration, anger, disappointment, loss of hope, etc. But why would you have those things in the first place? Because there was a hunger and thirst inside of you that was longing to be filled and satisfied. And I bet it wasn't being fully satisfied by "the church". It never can be. The Church was never designed to fully satisfy you. Religious activities were never designed to fully satisfy. We were led to believe it would [NOT by God though]. . . but it never will. Why not?

Because - there is only ONE thing that will TRULY satisfy . . . GOD . . . and His AMAZING love for us! For YOU! For His Bride!

God is not "the church". Nor should "the church" be exalted to the status of God. The Bride is not the Groom and the Groom is not the Bride. We have been misled. We have been confused. The Bride will never satisfy our needs that only the Groom can fulfill and satisfy! We must be hungry and thirst for the right thing, and we must not put expectations on the Bride that she can never fulfill. (You will only get frustrated, hurt, disillusioned, and . . . . discontented.)

Matthew 5:6 says,"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they WILL be filled."

There are many verses in the Bible about the hungry being filled and the thirsty being satisfied. Go find some! I promise you . . . God WILL (and does) satisfy!

Psalm 107:9 - "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things."
Jeremiah 31:25 -"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."

In fact -go read the whole chapter of Psalm 107! Right now! Click on the link and it will take you right there! No excuses now! :)

Psalm 107 gives several scenarios of how people can, and do, wander away from God - but how God graciously saves them "from their distress" (and blesses them, delivers them, satisfies, etc, etc, etc) WHENEVER they call on Him! He'll do that for you too! It's true! :)

Do you feel discontented lately? Do you feel a longing for something else . . . something more . . . something real and authentic . . . something powerful and passionate?

GOOD!

Then you are in the right place and right frame of mind! You are HUNGRY and THIRSTY! So, instead of listening to the "father of lies" and going "into the desert wasteland" trying to find what you need . . . why don't you come to the water source instead! Come to the river! Come into the deep! Come and drink deep . . . because this water WILL satisfy! There is no water and food in the desert (what were we thinking?!). But there is an ABUNDANCE wherever God is! Come hang out with Him - seek HIM - follow HIM - passionately pursue a relationship with Him . . . because He LOVES to satisfy His kids with "fatness" and the "richest of fare"! :)

Come and drink deep today!
Dive on in!!
I dare you! :)


L :)

Frustrations, Fun & God

Wow! Has it really been over 2 months since I last posted something? It's been on my "list of things to do" every day. . . . but as the summer months began and school let out for my 5 kids, it's been a whirlwind of activity here.

On top of planning for a missions trip, we've had Vacation Bible School, swim lessons, a retreat for my daughter, and a crazy adventure-of-a-vacation in the mountains - camping in torrential rain and wind (thank goodness for a laundry room and hairdryer!), living with deer and skunks on our campsite (the skunks would walk around under our feet - not caring we were there!), seeing a bear (from a distance and safely inside my car), touring underground caverns, and even a tubing trip on the river with a rope swing along the way! We definitely had some fun - but it didn't all go as planned. Isn't that just like life? :)

On the way home our precious 6 year old daughter wanted to pray for our trip. She was thanking God for all the fun and adventure we had (even when it didn't seem fun at the time) - and then she said "I had so much with you God on our camping trip!" :) Wow. I was humbled. Out of the mouth of babes. Many of us (adults & kids) on the trip were complaining about the weather, the heat, the complications . . . but were still trying to be thankful for the adventure it ended up being. However, my daughter reminded me of the most important truth . . . that through it all - the rain, the soaked tents and books (and a Bible!), the skunks, the bugs, the frustrations, the times of anger and sadness, and the times of laughter and joy - sharing memories, eating s'mores, and watching my 7 year old put away 3 hamburgers and 2 hotdogs in one meal . . . Through all of it - God was with us! And my daughter had "fun" with God during it all! I did too!

I do have to say that all throughout the trip I was frequently thanking God for taking care of us. We were almost rear-ended in a tunnel even before we left our city (the car missed us by less than a foot as it squealed and veered into the next lane!)! The rain stopped just as we arrived at the campground so we didn't have to set up in the rain. The next day (my mom's birthday!), the sun was out for awhile and the rain held off till near the end of our tubing trip (but we came back to a destroyed tent over our table and everything soaked in my parents' tent) - however, the rain stopped long enough for us to fix things and dry some things out. We ate s'mores under another tent we had - using our propane stove instead of a fire. And guess what? They were still just as yummy! And there was no rain when we had to tear everything down to leave! So . . yes . . .God is good - and I could see his hand of grace taking care of us all along the way!

But like my daughter said. . . God, I did have alot of fun WITH you throughout it all! The majestic mountains, beautiful wildlife, intricate and amazing sites in the caverns, beautiful waterfalls . . . it all constantly reminded me of our awesome Creator! What an imagination He had (and still has)! I am so thankful! He has created such beauty and glory and wonder all around us . . . if we just take the time to stop and look. We could have kept our eyes on the frustrations, but by looking at what God DID (and was doing) . . . for us . . . it made this "adventure" one I'll always remember . . . without too many feelings of frustration.

On the last morning, I met the woman who takes care of the camp showers and store. I wanted to keep to myself . . . my own thoughts . . . just take my shower and go back and pack up. But I couldn't get this nagging feeling that I was supposed to tell her something . . . just how wonderful she is - what a good heart she has - a "mother-hen" kind of heart - that she loves to take care of everyone and is really good at it. I started walking away, but then went back and interrupted her work. As I opened my mouth and just started saying what I felt God was showing me about her - it was beautiful to see her reaction . . . a sweet smile of gratitude - like a little girl being told she is beautiful. It opened up at least 30 minutes of conversation between us - listening to her stories of her family, her life, her eye that was mostly blind and how it happened, etc. Beneath what had seemed like a rough and well-worn exterior was the tender and compassionate heart of a woman who God loves. I was able to pray for her eye, but she quickly had to get back to work. I continue to pray for full healing for her eye (I wished it hadn't been our last day there). I may never know if God healed it that day -but I do know that I was able to share some of God's love on one of his most precious creations! I wouldn't trade that moment for all the sunny days in the world!

As our summer continues and winds to a close, I want to encourage you to do a few things.
#1. Thank God for all He is doing or has done for you! If you can't think of anything - start with His creations all around you (including people!).

#2. Pay attention to the fact that God is ALWAYS with you - in EVERY situation! He is there to laugh with you, to comfort you in your tears, to strengthen you when you are weak, to give rest for the weary. It doesn't mean our life plays out perfectly in all ways - but it does mean that we have a perfect Friend, Father, Comforter, Counselor, etc with us in all our imperfect situations and experiences. Enjoy being with Him. Practice being in His presence (paying attention to Him being there with you).

#3. Reach out to others around you! Love on them. Not out of selfish ambition, or pride - but out of true love. Love for God. When we love God - we can love His children (His creation) so much more! There is a reason that the Bible says that the greatest commandment is to love God 1st - then love others AS we love ourselves. When we love God and understand HIS love for us - we can truly love ourselves and then others. God sure does love you! AND he sure does love your neighbor, parents, siblings, co-worker, and yes - even your enemies! We are ALL made in God's image (EVERYONE!) - and He loves us all! So go share some of that love with others! Find the "gold" in someone around you and pull it out of them! Show them the "gold" that is inside of them. If you are having trouble with loving someone - ask God to show you how HE sees them (what the gold is). It will change you! Treat people according to their destiny (who God says they are)and not according to their history!

Have fun going deeper this summer!

L :)

What are you Soaking in Today?

I know I haven't posted in awhile - but as I mentioned in a previous post or two - I started taking classes in January. I'm part of a School of Supernatural Ministry here locally, but we are using the curriculum from Bethel's School of Supernatural Ministry out in Redding, California. I also said this before too - but if you haven't checked out this church, what it's doing, what they teach and preach . . . you need to! Their church is not only changing their city - but their reach is spreading across the globe - to bring healing, deliverance, salvation, love and power to the world!

Bill Johnson - head pastor (as well as other pastors and leaders from that church - Kris Vallotton and Danny Silk especially) has written some incredible books that have been rocking my world! They have opened up my eyes to seeing scripture in new ways, to seeing myself in new ways, to finally understanding more about just WHO I am as well as WHOSE I am! It has been setting me free!

Bethel Church broadcasts many of their services - worship and teaching - on ibethel.tv. You can watch some things for free, and then they also have subscription services - 3 different ones - depending on what you would like/prefer.

Most every day I listen to one of their videos - whether it's just worship or teaching. I used to put on Joyce Meyer every day in the morning (tv, or sometimes online) as I got ready for the day - now it's i-bethel. Occasionally I will also put on a webcast from CBN's Spiritual Gifts Webcast archives at CBN.com. I have also listened to Beth Moore as well (You can hear here at Oneplace.com, or you can watch her on LIFE Today with James and Betty Robinsin here. LOVE that lady!).

By doing this - I am feeding my spirit, healing my soul, and training my mind. I also recently picked up the Bible on CD's (dramatized version) from the library and have occasionally put those in while getting ready in the morning, doing chores, or driving around. (I need to do that more.) I have found that I look at/hear the scriptures differently when I'm listening to it rather than reading it. It's opened my eyes to new things!

I do still watch one tv show a week (LOST) - but that's it (and occasionally a movie . . . but not as much as I used to). Why fill my mind with the ways of this world? Why fill up the empty spaces in my thoughts, heart and emotions with things that don't satisfy? It just leaves me feeling empty still and like I've just wasted part of my life. I don't want that. I want so much more out of life. I want that abundant life that Jesus said he died to give me! He DIED so I could have it! If He died for it - then it must be something good!! NO - GREAT! It was worth dying for! (I was worth dying for!)

We are what we think about. We think about whatever we have put in our minds - through our eyes, our ears, our experiences . . . so . . . .

What are you "soaking" your mind, spirit and soul in these days? I would challenge and encourage you to take note of what you are putting before your eyes, ears and in your life. Is it bringing life into your mind, heart, emotions and life? What kind of life do you want to have? That abundant life that God has for you? Go after it! But remember - it all starts in our minds - what we think about! (If you struggle with this - with your thought life - I would recommend Joyce Meyer's book - "Battlefield of the mind"!!)

I posted signs around my house - not only for my kids, but for my benefit. One of them says "What are you soaking in?" and has a picture of a sponge and a brain. Below it is the verse Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE - if anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY - think about such things."

The other quote I have posted is this:

Watch your thoughts - they become your words.
Watch your words - they become your actions.
Watch your actions - they become your habits.
Watch your habits - they become your character.
Watch your character - it becomes your destiny.

What are you soaking in today?

Soak in the deep water from the Lord today! Be refreshed - and renewed with LIFE!!

I've added links to many of my favorite "wells" that I currently "drink" from or have in the past. Check the "aqueducts" on the right sidebar!

Drink Deep!

L :)

Do you know WHO you are?

I love thinking about how intricately God designed us – designed me! Even down to my name – having my parents choose the name Lori (meaning – Victorious one!) for me. He didn’t leave any detail undone!

I was watching my cat yesterday, sitting in the window sill, enjoying the breeze coming in from the open, screened in window, but at the same time – longing to be outside – to be chasing the birds she would see in the yard, to be running around in the grass - nibbling on it, exploring, tasting, smelling, chasing, crouching, playing (with other cats), running – free! I could tell it was driving her crazy to be inside – especially with the windows open! It looked liked torture –to be able to not only see the outside world (now that the blinds were open), but to be able to smell, feel and experience just a little bit of what lay outside – but to be stuck inside! She longs to be outside so much, that she will hide out by the door, crouching and waiting for someone to open it so that she can make a mad dash to try and escape – to be free!

I then thought about the last cat we had. She had been a stray – abandoned and left on her own as a kitten. We found her at about 5 months old – barely skin and bones, dirty, covered in ticks. We took her in, cleaned her up, loved on her, fed her (till she was fat!), and more. However, she still remained traumatized. She was full of anxiety and fear – of noises, of us - if we moved to fast, if we tried to pet her when she wasn’t expecting it, or even if we tried to pick her up. But one thing that frightened her the most, was going and being stuck outside. She would be curious – looking out a closed or screened-in window. She would occasionally try to venture outside, very slowly, smelling, testing, watching to see if it was safe . . . but all the while, still very nervous and unsure of herself and of the outside world. Once, she had ventured outside as I was bringing in the groceries. I didn’t see that she had gone out. When I was done, I closed our sliding glass door and started heading towards the kitchen. As I turned, I saw our cat anxiously run to the door and start clawing at the window, pacing and meowing a fearful cry. I opened the door and she bolted in. She had been so afraid that she was going to be stuck outside.

Cats were designed and created to be outside – to be hunters. We see this in most big cats (Lions and Tigers, etc) – out in the wild, free, hunting their prey, enjoying the sun and wind, the shade and stillness of the day, playing with each other, running . . . free. Housecats were designed the same – only on a smaller scale. We have tamed them, raised some by hand, loved on them, taught them to use a litter box, and made them pets, but deep inside – they still know they are hunters, that they have been designed to be outside – to be free – to be chasing birds, squirrels and rabbits. If we allow them to go outside – they will do just that. If we keep them indoors, they may long for the outside, but they will eventually become accustomed to indoor living – to being taken care of, and to being fed (instead of having to hunt for their food). Animals in captivity can become so accustomed to living this way and being taken care of, that if you tried to let them loose in the wild, they would starve to death – not knowing how to hunt for their food and to really live in the wild. Some animals might actually prefer to remain indoors (or in captivity) because of traumatic events/memories of being out in the wild (as seemed the case with our last cat).

What has God designed me to be? What has he designed me to do? Who am I really? What am I capable of? Have I been in “captivity” so long, that I don’t know? Do I still feel like a slave/servant in my relationship with God? Or do I know my true identity – my position as a daughter of the Lord of glory, the King of kings, the creator of this universe? Do I know that I was not only designed to run free – to chase, to explore, to do great things, to enjoy the sun and shade, the wind and calm, to enjoy relationships and “playing” with others – but that I actually have the freedom to do just that?! I do! How about you?

God has been graciously revealing more of Himself, more of who I am, more of what I was designed to do and be, more of my identity – as royalty – a royal priest (and princess), and not a sinner any longer. I am no longer dirty, starving and covered in ticks! I have been brought into his house and lovingly restored – but not so that I will remain in His house as a servant or as a slave – but so that I could be adopted – as His daughter! I have full access to EVERYTHING my Father has – to ALL of His kingdom! It is mine to enjoy – to run free, to experience, to explore, to have fun in! I love that! I love it that God didn’t save me and bring me into His home to just clean me off to make me His servant. He rescued, saved, cleaned, and restored me – and ADOPTED ME! Little ole me . . . is a Princess now! ☺ Woo-hoo!

I also love it how He didn’t just bring me into His kingdom to keep me here either – to keep me “indoors”. He brought me in, to love me, clean me off, feed me and restore me – so that I could then be free to go back outside at any time – to go enjoy all of this life He gave me – to reach out to others still stuck outside and help them come home, to be adopted, cleaned up, fed and restored. Yes – we were created as eternal beings – to live forever with God in heaven one day, but we were also designed and created to live on this earth – not to live here, afraid, full of anxiety (What if we get dirty? What if we get “ticks” or get sick? What if we mess up, or can’t find food, or meet an enemy bigger than us?) – but to live in freedom – running, exploring, laughing, enjoying the company of others, hunting (finding food), fighting off our enemies with victory, and so much more!

We were intricately and lovingly designed this way. But too many of us don’t know it. We are comfortable just being fed, being taken care of, being “indoors”. Life “outside” is just too scary and unpredictable. Yes it is – unpredictable . . . . but it is so full of adventure! ☺

Then there are some who have lived outside for so long – enjoying the freedom, but not realizing the benefits of having a home to go to – when it rains, when you are tired, when you need some support, love, encouragement and more. These people have never been adopted into God’s family – and to them – it looks restrictive and boring. To them it looks like they would have to give up the fun and freedom, and become something else – become a servant/slave, stuck “indoors”. What they don’t know, is that if they truly came in and met their creator – and realized that they were being adopted, cleaned up, fed, restored – they would ultimately be set free . . . more free than they had ever been before! Then they could go outside and not worry if they couldn’t find food – their Father would have some waiting at home for them! They wouldn’t have to worry about shelter or other basic needs to be met. They wouldn’t even have to worry about enemies – because one cry from their lips would bring their Daddy running!

Being adopted into God’s house is not about living under the law (rules, policies, should’s and should-not’s) – but it’s all about living under grace and love! It’s about being free to live in a loving environment, in a loving relationship, where all our needs are met, but where we have the freedom to also be who we were designed to be – every part of us! When you know WHOSE you are . . . then you know WHO you are! And I, for one, am a child of GOD – forgiven, cleansed, restored and set free! . . . .

Me-ow! ☺

L:)

If you would like to know more about just who you are - and see if your perception of your identity is more of a pauper or more of a prince - go to Kris Vallotton's website for an online test. You might be surprised! I know if I had taken this test even just a couple years ago - my score/answers would have been drastically different!

God . . . "in Love"?!

I just have to share this with you today! You are truly loved!!! Did you know that?!! Man - does God ever love you!! :) Believe it!

Here's part of our conversation today:

L - So . . . what’s on your mind? How are you doing today?

G – I’m doing well – actually. I’m in love!

L - :) oh yeah . . . with who?! :) hee,hee.

G – with my Bride! Oh man – have you seen her lately? She is beautiful! So beautiful! I am excited for the day that we get to be together – fully – forever! I can’t wait! I wish it was today – or tomorrow. But it’s not. I know there is more preparation that needs to be done – but I am pleased with what she is doing to get ready for our big day! I am pleased. I love her so much! Yes – there are things that need to be worked on – but today, I am pleased. I love her so much!

L - :) I love hearing you talk about your bride like that! It makes me happy! So many times we hear about all the negative – how she is not ready – how she needs to clean up this, do that, etc. I know that there are times when you have to share those things – because parts of your bride are not doing what is needed. But it’s so nice to hear your joy and see you smile about the rest of the bride that is getting ready.

G – I’m not just in love with the rest that is getting ready – but with ALL of my bride! I love ALL of her so very much! No matter what she does, or where she goes, or if she trips and falls . . . I still love her immensely!! She is everything to me and I don’t want any other bride! Just her! I chose her, I want her, and I love her!! Man – my love just bubbles over and overflows sometimes – I can’t contain it! I won’t contain it for much longer! Pretty soon I just won’t be able to help myself – and I will have to just let it all out – let it gush all out over my bride!! I just have to tell her!! I know she wants to know – and I know that she knows to a degree . . . but boy, oh boy do I ever want to fully show her!!! I can’t wait! I have to restrain myself right now –because I would love to just let it all pour out today if I could! But I can’t. It’s not the right time. Soon, though – soon!!!! Ohhhhh Lori – Just wait!!! Just wait!! Wait and see! Wait and watch and see! You will love it!!

L – I can’t wait! I want to see it now! I want to feel it now too! I want you to be able to display your love and affection – and bring your presence into this preparation room today!! When God? When will you come and visit your preparing bride? When?

G - :) Soon! . . . Literally – I am having to hold myself back. It takes all my willpower to not just rush to her side right now. She is so beautiful. She is so precious and lovely. She is everything to me! I can’t contain my love for her much longer!! I want to smother her with my love – with my kisses – with my hugs of protection and love. I want to smother her! I want her to have NO DOUBTS whatsoever of my love for her! For now – I am sending her roses . . . a sign. . . a sign of my affections for her. I will send her chocolates, flowers, songs . . . lots of signs of my love. But one day soon – I will come! I will show her my love - not just send her signs!! I can’t wait! :)

L - :) God – you are so cute! I love seeing you in love! :) It makes me happy! It makes me feel loved (which I know I am)! Thank you for sharing your heart with me today! I feel loved! Thank you! Can I share any of this with your bride?

G – Why not?! :) I want her to know!! All she hears are the bad things – the rumors that I am mad at her – that I want to punish her. I don’t . I want to love her! I want to really show her that I love her! I want to be close to her! I want HER! So yes – tell her! Tell her how much I love her!! I want her to know!!

Know that God is in LOVE with YOU today!! He's not mad at you . . . but IN LOVE with you!! Accept that love - and go deeper in your relationship with Him today! Don't run away . . . but run TO Him! His arms are open wide. They are not crossed in front of Him in anger. They are opened wide! Run to Him - run into His arms! He's waiting for you!

There is a day coming, where we will feel and see more of His love - more of His presence. It will not just be in Toronto, or Florida, or some other part of the world - but it will be throughout the world! There is a day coming! Are you ready for it? Are you looking forward to it? Are you making "room" in your life (your schedule, your relationship, your heart and mind, etc) for more of God's love to be poured out?! . . . .I know I am!

Love and be loved deeply today!

L :)

Facebook - I am a "Friend" of God!

Today in church we were singing the song "I am a friend of God". I started smiling as I thought about the term "friend" and what it has come to mean in today's society. In fact, "un-friend" was one of the most popular (new) words in 2009. Why? Because of the social networking site Facebook.


Are you a part of the Facebook community? At first I wasn't so sure I wanted to join (I never did get into MySpace) - but then once I joined, I was tickled pink to find not only my current friends and family, but friends all over the world and America - from my time overseas in YWAM (Youth With A Mission), high school, junior high (in sunny FL) - and even elementary school (in the frozen tundra of Minnesota!). What fun to reminisce and see how my friends have changed (or have found the fountain of youth!). I do have to admit though - in the beginning I felt like I was being nosy and spying . . . seeing who was saying what to which friends of mine, etc! It felt so sneaky!

So today in church - I stood there singing my heart out, smiling that I was a "friend" of God! I could see His Facebook page - and that I was one of the blessed few chosen to be one of His "friends"! And I know that He will NEVER "un-friend" me! :) But as I happily thought about being his "friend" - I could feel the sadness in His heart. Was He glad that I was His friend? Yes. Is He glad that you are His friend? No doubt! So where was the sadness coming from?

Are you truly God's "friend"? Do you occasionally check in on Him - find out what He's done or is currently doing - read His posts (the Bible, go to Church, etc)? Or do you occasionally "post" something to Him (pray - or ask others to pray for you) - a request, a praise, a comment, or even a complaint? Do you only connect with Him via "facebook" - at a distance? You might even "chat online" with him once in awhile when you find the time - but how often do you do this in person?

God loves being your friend! But He's not interested in just a "facebook" type relationship. He wants a deeper, more intimate friendship and relationship. He actually would love it if He could not only walk and talk with you every day - but to live with you! To be with you every waking moment of the day! No need to sit down and set aside a special time and effort to "post" something on His facebook page (or hope that He's been checking yours). You would already be in His presence - experiencing all of life with Him - all of your life - and all of His! That's what He wants! He wants so much more than we give Him. He wants so much more of you - because He wants to give you so much more of Him!

So today, take an account of your friendship with God. Is it just a "facebook" type of relationship? Do you spend time in that "facebook" setting just playing games, taking & creating quizes, swapping information and photos with other friends and with God (ie - getting very involved in activities - in and outside of church) - thinking you are increasing your relationship/friendship with God? Are you enjoying just "spying" on your friends and all their relationships and their friendship with God?

It's not that all those things are bad . . . but to really deepen and strengthen any relationship/friendship - you need to get together, in person, with your friend! The intimacy that is shared in personal, close contact - sharing not only facts or opinions, but your heart cries, your joys, fears, laughter, tears - watching how your friend's face reacts to your latest news, feeling the comfort of his/her arms when you are struggling . . . . you can't find that on Facebook!

I challenge you to go deeper with God today. To put aside your "facebook" type relationship with God - and to invite Him in to live with you - every moment of the day. If that's too scary or hard for you to imagine right now - then just invite Him over for coffee! :) You will find, that just spending a little bit of intimate time with Him will leave you wanting more. I don't think it will be too long before you do want Him to move in! :)

As a side note . . . I also want to encourage and challenge you (and myself) to also go beyond Facebook (or email) and get together with some of your friends or family members this week. Reach out to them in a more personal way . . . go out for lunch, set up a playdate with your kids, go see a movie and then out for coffee . . . or just hang out at your favorite spot (beach, mountains, mall). Because really . . . which is more important to you? A clean house (your work, your hobbies, etc)? Or your friends/relationships? Start with your friendship with God - and go from there!

Ditch "facebook" and meet Face to face this week!

Gaze/experience/love/laugh . . . deeply!

L :)

John 15:12-14 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command."

Tired? Weary? Pink Dandelions?!

I just wanted to share a private conversation I had with God back on Dec. 26th, 2009. It's an honest picture of how I was feeling that day - hiding nothing. The reason I am willing to share it with you today is because it was encouraging me even more today - and I thought that it might encourage you! I hope so! None of us are perfect - but God is - and I'm thankful that He will take all of me - and give me all of Him in return! :)

Take a refreshing sip today!

L :)

L – Happy Birthday Jesus (a day late)!! Ok . . . so I know it probably wasn’t the exact date. :) But I love celebrating your birthday. I just wish it wasn’t filled with so much busyness and stress as well. Of course – all birthdays do that to me – when I am planning a big celebration. It always turns out nice – but it stresses me out through it all. :( I hate that.

I am glad to finally be here at the beach house in NC – though I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the people, commotion, and stuff. I just want to get away – by myself – with you. I have felt trapped at home with kids, etc. for 3 months this fall (sick kids, and then a sick hubby – gallbladder surgery). I feel wiped out most of the time. I just want to sleep – but can’t really. I tried this afternoon – but couldn’t really sleep with the noises in the house (18 people!). Anyways . . . I won’t complain anymore. . . I know you like to hear my heart though.

I need you. That’s my heart. I NEED YOU!!! I don’t feel like myself lately. I’ve felt depressed – though I don’t have much to be depressed about. I don’t know if it’s just that my body is worn out from all I’ve been doing/taking care of . . . or if it’s from not getting to spend time with you like I would like.

I went to a friend's church a couple weeks ago. It was a blessing. 2 ladies after church prayed for me – and said some interesting things. One thing was such a confirmation of what you had just said to me recently – about having to let go of something. She used the word “abandonment” – that I would have to abandon something. But that it was “soooo good!” (she said with smiles) With you confirming that so soon – it makes me wonder if you will ask me to let go of something pretty soon. ?? I guess time will tell. Don’t let me miss it. :)

The other thing that was interesting was when they said that I would “find my rest in continuing to go forward” – that as I kept stepping forward, I would find my rest. That I didn’t “miss it” or mess things up this fall (as I had wanted to spend hours and hours in your word, with you, writing the book, etc – but instead have felt like I’ve just been taking care of sick kids, doing household chores – shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc). I feel so tired though – to keep going forward – to keep doing this. Something is just not right – something is “off” – and I don’t know what it is. :( I hate it. My husband senses it too. He keeps asking me “what’s wrong with you Lori?” And I don’t have any answers to give him. I don’t know. ?? I can only make guesses. So –I’ll ask you . . . what’s wrong with me?? Will you tell me? Why do I feel so depressed lately? Why do I feel so short-tempered, critical, etc? Is it just an attack? Are you working something out in me? Am I not eating right? Enough exercise? Too much? What?? I need you – and I need you to help me. I need you today. I especially don’t feel good today – kind of sick (sore throat, headache, sinus stuff, low fever,etc.). I don’t want to feel sick. I rebuke it!!!

So God . . . what do you want to say to me today? Come and be with me right now . . come sit and talk with me – comfort me – heal me – show me – guide me – love me. :) I’m here . . . wanting to be with you. I need you – so much. I can’t make it in life without you!

G – Hi Lori. :) You know I’ve always been here.

L – I know.

G – I never left. I’ve been walking with you every step.

L – I know. I know it in my head –and at times I could feel you near . . . I just am not feeling like the same woman I was a couple months ago – on fire, full of joy, passion, life, energy, etc.

G – I know. What happened?

L – That’s what I’m asking you! :)

G - :) I know. I’m teasing. I have watched it all Lori. I have seen it all. I have heard all your cries, your tears, your anger and frustrations. There ARE things that I want to work out of you. I do want you to see the need for more of me in your life – for more of my power, my transforming power and love. You cannot give away what you do not have. You need more. You need a lot more. And I want to give it to you. Do you want it?

L – of course . . yes.

G – But it comes with a price . . .

L – what kind of price.

G – A big one.

L – what?

G – all of you. You give me all of you – and I will give you all of me. Does it sound like a fair trade?

L – no. :) From YOUR perspective. :) You get all of me – my limitedness – and I get all of you – your unlimitedness – eternal – infinity . . . .

G – sound fair?

L - :) I’ll take it.

G – Good!

L – But what more do you need of me that you do not already have? I feel like I am always trying to give you more and more . . . all . . .of me. What haven’t I given over? What do you still want? It’s yours!

G - :) I’m glad you say that. I’ll take it! There is more though. You have areas of your heart that you have guarded. You have kept your hands over those sensitive areas to protect them. You haven’t trusted anyone with them – not even yourself, your husband, or even me. I want those areas Lori. I want all of them. Every speck, every part, every hurt, every thought, every memory . . . I want it all. You CAN trust me with them.

L – what areas are you talking about? See – I don’t even really know (I have felt so foggy-headed lately anyways – I’m not surprised). What areas? I want to give them to you. . . .

G – Close your eyes and watch what I show you.

L – Ok. . . . . I see you prying my hands away from my heart some – gently. You are pulling something out of the top of my heart. It looks like a dandelion seed – like when the seeds are ready to blow off the top – light and airy. But the whole stem is like a seed too. ?? what does that mean?

G – See how easy it will be? Just open your hands and let me take it out and blow it away. It’s dead – ready to be released into the wind. When it is – then it will spread far and wide –and cause new plantings – new growth – in places you haven’t even gone – places you haven’t even traveled to. My wind will carry it instead. All you have to do is let me take it out of you and blow it away. Are you ready?

L – but what is it? And if it’s something bad – why would you want to cause growth somewhere else with it?

G – it was bad when it was alive – but it’s dead now.

L – but, if it was bad when it was “alive” – wouldn’t it cause new bad things to grow?

G – no – not this seed. Watch.

L – I see it blowing away – in the wind – high and far . . . for quite awhile. I’m not sure where you are taking it or where it will land. But it’s floating – easily – gently – no struggles. It lands in a very green

grassy area – someone’s lawn. Someone who prides themselves in having a perfect lawn. This seed lands and digs into the ground and starts to germinate – to grow. It’s not detected at first . . . not until the seed had taken root and the plant has grown. There a flower to show that it’s there. It is “announcing” it’s there. “look at me” it says. “Look at me – I don’t belong here! Look at me!”. The owner of the house (someone rich – well to do – someone who doesn’t normally manage his yard –but has others to do it) – he comes out and sees this dandelion. It’s not supposed to be there. How did it get there? Where did it come from? He would call his lawn guy – but instead, he decides to go pick the dandelion himself. There is something about this weed –something about this flower that draws his attention. It’s different. He’s not used to seeing it. Maybe he hasn’t ever seen one. Maybe he doesn’t know what it is? ?? He is curious – so he goes to pick it out of his perfect yard. He picks it up and inspects it. “What is this?” he thinks. He decides to take it to an expert – to get their opinion. What is it? The expert doesn’t know. He’s never seen anything like it before. It’s pink!

Dandelions are supposed to be yellow. This one is pink! Why? Is it really a dandelion? This has caused so much interest, that the lawn owner, and the expert both start doing research, asking around – trying to figure out where this pink dandelion came from. They just HAVE to know! It’s so unique – so different – so . . . pretty even. But it just makes them curious at all costs.

They finally figure out the direction of the wind – estimate the distance it could have traveled. They start traveling the way they think it came from. They start to see more pink dandelions along the way. They ask around –where did those come from? People don’t know – but many don’t care. . . many didn’t even notice. There were so many weeds in their yards already – that they didn’t even notice. So the men continue – they find more and more – until they come to a yard that is FULL of pink dandelions. The whole yard! This must be it. This must be the source. They go to the house – to find out from the owner, where these came from? How did they get to be pink? What happened? And why did they let their yard become full of them? Weren’t they a weed??

The owner opens the door. It’s me. (?? Really??) I tell them. . . . these were planted by my Father. It was the red blood of Jesus that stained the dandelions pink. It covered all the yellow – all that symbolized “bad” (the weed) –and turned what was weeds, into beautiful pink flowers! The pink flowers were not bad. They were good. They still had a way of multiplying – and taking over a yard – of going far and wide and affecting others. But this wasn’t a bad thing. It was good. Beautiful. It was God’s design! It was His design to begin with! Light and airy – the good seed would travel . . . and plant new growth. Easy. Not difficult. Easy. The hard part was letting go of what we are used to – a perfect lawn of green grass. . . . . boring . . .the same as all other lawns. And so much work – to keep it perfect. This is easy. Just let them grow – let them overtake the lawn! Easy!

The man and the “expert” are amazed. They are shocked. They didn’t think anyone would ever purposely let their yard become like this. But at the same time – they are not disgusted – they are intrigued. They want to know more. They want to test this out. They want to see what happens – what happens “if” . . . . They ask if they can take some of the dandelions back to their yards – to their neighborhoods, their cities . . . I say yes! Go ahead! Take as much as you want! More will grow in it’s place! So they do. And they go on to spread more and more of these beautiful pink flowers. What started as curses – turned into blessings. What started as sin – turned into joy – into fresh vision – into beauty.

L – God I do want you to take every part of me – not matter how ugly it had started out as – and turn it into something beautiful – something that will self-propagate in other people’s lives – that will transform them completely!! For ALL to see!! I want my life (my lawn) to be totally different – totally unique – totally visible to all I meet – that I am in love with YOU – that I am filled with you – and your love! Transform me Lord – change me! Use me!

G – Lori. I am. You are unique. You are different. All my kids are – they just don’t always show it. They try to be carbon copies of each other. It breaks my heart. I spent time thinking about each and every one of my kids – designing them – their special talents and abilities, their special looks – and then what do they do? . . . try to copy each other. It makes me sad. I want them to be unique –to be special – as I designed them to be. The only way they will ever know how unique and special they are – is to try to copy me – to look at me. I am like a mirror. When they look at me – they will see themselves – just as I designed them to be. They will see all the good I have created in them. They will see all the talents and abilities I’ve placed in them. They will see all the things I want THEM to do . . . . But they have to look at me – not at each other. At me.

Lori – you have been looking at others too much. You do look at me – but you look at others who are looking at me. I want you to look at me. I want YOU to look at me. See me. See all of me. Emulate me. Look into the mirror and let me show you YOU – who you really are – who I’ve fully created you to be. Stop looking at others and look at me! It’s in doing that – that you will fully know who you are and what you are to do . . and then you can walk proudly and boldly in who I’ve created you to be and do!! You will be proud to be YOU – to be unique – to be and do what I’ve designed you to do. Who cares if no one else is doing it? Who cares if no one else thinks a yard full of pink dandelions is beautiful! Who cares? I’m the only one who should care – and my thoughts and opinions are the only ones you should care about. The others don’t matter. So look at me – listen to me – read my word – spend time with me . . . and ignore all the other stuff. It won’t tell you who you are – and it won’t tell you your worth. Only I can tell you your worth! And to me – you are worth millions!! Billions!! More than you can imagine! :)

L - :) I’m so glad! To me – YOU are worth EVERYTHING!! I can’t imagine living life without you! I can’t live life without you! I do want to know who I am – to know who you are – to be able to be fully free to be me – to be me with my family – with my friends – with my neighbors, etc. I want to be fully free. I want more freedom. I thought I was doing pretty good – feeling so much more free. But I guess there’s more. :) That’s good. I want more! I want to be rid of all my petty frustrations – my short-tempers at times, my selfishness, my criticalness, etc. I want to be rid of it all. Does it ever go away completely? . . . here on earth? :) I don’t want it anymore. I’m tired of it. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Heal me. Cleanse me. Transform me. Use me. Renew me. Change me. I’m sorry. Thank you for forgiving and loving me completely!! You are awesome! I don’t know what I would do without you!!

Jeremiah 6:16 – “This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

“ancient paths” – the tried and true ways of Judah’s godly ancestors.

Matthew 11:28-30 – “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Isaiah 28:12 - . . . “This is the resting place, let the weary rest”; and “this is the place of repose” . . .

Exodus 14:13&14 - “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (however, in the next sentence, the Lord said “why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” (Moses then raised his staff and the red sea was parted!)

Lord. . . .I want your rest – your resting place. I want to dwell there. I want you to fight for me. I am willing to “walk in” the good way, the ancient paths – and I want the rest you promised!!! Thank you Lord for your rest – for your peace – for your joy! Thank you for fighting the fight for me! All the time! Everywhere! Thank you for loving me soooooo much! You are awesome!!! :)