God's wound of love for His Bride!

I love sitting down and talking with my heavenly Daddy. He is my support - my rock - my fortress. But what I really love is snuggling up to his chest - his heart - and hearing it beat - hearing it call out to me . . . "Lori . . . I love you . . . Lori . . . I love you . . . Lori . . . I love you . . . " it beats on and on and on - never ending.

I love that!

I can step away and know that it's still beating that same rhythm - that same song - that same phrase - "Lori . . . I love you . . ."

Did you know that God is saying the same thing to you?

When you get close to His heart - you won't hear "Lori . . . I love you . . . " but you will hear "Tina, Bob, Susan, Joe, Everyone . . . I love you". Whatever your name is - God knows it! He knows it and He loves you! His heart is beating your name - over and over and over again . . . . and it will never stop. "Lori - I love you . . . Lori - I love you . . . .Lori . . ."

Today I got close to my Daddy's heart - and I asked him what was on His heart today.

I love knowing! And you know what?

He loves sharing with me what's on His heart! He loves sharing with YOU what's on His heart.

Many people just don't take the time to listen. They share what's on theirs - on and on with their wish-list of provisions needed, healings desired, etc - but they end it without taking the time to ask God "What's on your heart today?".

I dare you to ask Him!

You will be surprised at what He wants to share with you - what He LONGS to share with you!

I am not "special" in my ability to hear God. All of God's kids can hear Him. The Bible proves that point - John 10:27 says "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me". If you are a Christian, following God and allowing Him to be Lord of your life - then you ARE His "sheep" - and you DO hear His voice. You just need to take the time to listen to what He is saying. :)

Anyways . . . I wanted to share with you what I saw and heard today. Man - God sure does love you guys!! It never ceases to amaze me!

As I snuggled up close to God today and put my hands on His heart - I saw something on it - like a blanket, shroud or cape. It was attached at the top - almost more like a cape. I could push back the sides and touch his heart and see more of it - but I asked him about the covering? Why was it there?

It was covering a wound - a large, ugly tear/gash that was oozing some fresh blood - not much but some. I asked God "how can it be healed? What's it from?"

God - It is healing. It is healed. But it is leaking, weeping, and I can’t let it seep out on others yet. It is a good wound . . . it’s not bad. It is good. It is an open fissure – into my heart – from my heart. There will come a time when this shroud – this blanket or cape that you see - will be removed. You are able to push back the front of it – and you see my whole heart – you see the whole front of my heart – and it looks whole – huge – bright red – lovely – inviting. The back side is different. You can see it Lori. You can reach around and touch the wound – touch the fissure. It’s not a pretty sight. It looks ugly, torn, leaking and not something people would want to come close to. But it is still part of my heart – part of my love. People are scared of it – they would be if they saw it – but it’s not bad. It’s good. It really is. It IS beautiful – because of what it does – because of what it represents.

L – What does it do? What does it represent? I can reach back and feel the warmth of the blood trickling out ever so slow. There isn’t a big puddle of blood or anything – in fact – the blanket/shroud kind of soaks up the little bit that is oozing out. But you can’t tell that from the front. You wouldn’t even know. I think people see this shroud more like a cape or a royal robe. It is a royal robe – attached up high – around your heart – so it doesn’t come off – but it is moveable – at times to cover your heart and other times to pull it back and reveal what’s underneath. You do this as you please – and you allow others to take a peek and pull back the robe as they please. All they have to do is come close. Come close and push it back. See more of your heart. So many people cry out for more of your love – more of your heart – but they don’t come close. They are expecting you to just shove your heart in their face – to pull back your robe and show it – declare it. Sometimes you do – but what you really desire – is for them to come close – like a little girl would to her daddy – to pull back his coat to see what good surprise he has hidden in his jacket – fully comfortable hugging on, hanging on and touching her daddy in a loving way. This is what you desire. To be loved like this – as children with their Father. But I also know that you have another side – a desire for your Bride to come – to touch your heart in another way.

I see your Bride coming up to you – to touch your heart – but she is not just interested in the front – in the “surprise” in what’s in it for her – but she is interested in You – in what’s hiding – in what’s on the other side of your heart. She is interested in putting her hands all the way around your heart and grasping hold – deeply from behind. She is not put off by the blood oozing from the wound. Her desire is to be close – as close as she can be – and to be in the midst of all of your heart – no matter what other people think – no matter what others think your heart looks or feels like. She knows the truth – she knows the joy – she knows the love. She reaches around and feels the back – feels the wound - and she cries – not out of sadness – but out of love – out of the realization that this wound was taken, was caused by love – by your love for her – your willingness to protect her – to fight for her – to champion for her – to do anything for her. You have taken this wound – for her – and yet you have hidden it from her. Why?

G – I have hidden it – but not permanently. It’s always been there. Anyone who would dare to come closer – who was willing to come as close as you are Lori, can reach around and feel it – they will find it. I am not hiding it on purpose to keep it from them – but to allow them to discover it. It’s only for those that are willing to come closer – to reach around –to dig deep – to be encompassed by my love and to encompass my love. It is for the ones closest to me. That is why it is hidden. It’s not for everyone to just see in the open – because they wouldn’t understand – they might even be turned off from it. But those that come close – that learn to completely trust me – that are able to fully embrace all that is Me – that my heart has to offer – then they will be able to feel and see and experience that wound in my heart – that wound of love. It doesn’t hurt me. And it’s not something that I ever want to go away. It is there – as a reminder of what I did for my bride – so that she will always know just how much I love her! I really do! I love her soooo much!!

L – I know you do! But why is the wound leaking/oozing? What is that all about?

G – It’s fresh. This wound is not old and dried up and scabbed over. It’s not an old wound – it’s a fresh one. I want it to always be fresh. It will always be fresh. Yes – my love began a long time ago – but it will continue on for eternity. It is always fresh. I am at war every day fighting for my Bride. She thinks she has to fight for me – but I am fighting for her. I will win – but I am still fighting for her. I have a battle plan like no other! Some people do not understand – some people ask “well why not just go get your Bride right now? Why not end this war today and go get her? Save her now? End this war?” I know it seems like I should – but she is not ready. What bride would want to be whisked away to the altar before she has had enough time to fully get herself presentable – to do her hair, put on her dress, etc. The wedding is such a special time for the bride – and it is for me. There is a GRAND wedding feast and party that will follow as well – and I am preparing it all!
I am giving my bride time to fully get ready – to fully get prepared. But she’s dilly-dallying some. She’s getting distracted by other things – talking on the phone – chatting with friends – even discussing if the hairdo and accessories that she picked out are the right ones. Tell her to stop that. She is focusing on trivial things – that have nothing to do with me and our relationship. Tell her to think about me – to focus on me – to think about what I would like to see her coming down the aisle in. THEN she will instantly know! It won’t be a struggle. It won’t be difficult – because she knows me! She really does know me! And when she does things to please me – and not to please her friends or do what “society” thinks she should do – then it all becomes easier – and then the wedding can begin sooner. Yes – I am waiting for the wedding to start – but I know there is work to still be done. It is being done – it will be done. Keep doing what you are doing to get my bride ready Lori. This is more than just helping my kids and my bride know who they are so that they can enjoy life – it’s about knowing who they are so that they can walk confidently down the aisle towards me – KNOWING that they are pleasing to my eyes – and that I am PASSIONATELY in love with them . . . ALL of them (who they are)– accessories or not! I love them as they are! I need my kids and my bride to be who they are so that they can walk confidently down the aisle – not tripping on things along the way – but to walk confidently! If they trip, yes I would catch them – but they won’t! It will be glorious – beautiful! Just you wait and see! You will love it! It will make you cry Lori! It will make me cry! I can’t wait!

Your heavenly Daddy and future groom loves you soooo much! He really does!

Know that! With everything that is in you!

Believe it! If you don't - take a step of faith and CHOOSE to believe it - because it's true! You were and are worth being wounded for!

Did you hear me?

You ARE WORTH being wounded for!!

Draw close to God today . . . . reach out and touch His heart . . . pull back the shroud that has kept you from fulling seeing and experiencing His heart and love for you. "Draw near to Him and He WILL draw near to you!" (James 4:8a)

Acts 17:24-28 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’"

Proverbs 25:2 - "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings."

Search out the matters of God's heart. He's waiting to show you!!

Come a little closer and deeper today!

L :)

2011 - Love-Laugh-Live

Wow – the start of a new year!

I love the start of a new year. It’s sad in a way to see the last year go (and go by so fast) –but usually, by November/December – I am looking forward to the new year – to a new chapter – a turning of the page – a new leaf and season.

Of course – today didn’t turn out as I had thought it would.

I had plans to sit down and play with my kids, pray over them, strategize with my hubby (and on my own) and just start the year off right – on the right foot – with a clear head – knowing where I was going and what I was going to do this year. Instead – I spent the day lying around reading a book – not feeling well. My intestines were rumbling and were bloated most of the day (I had been sick with a 24 hour stomach bug a couple days ago – but was feeling much better yesterday). At one point this evening I even complained that I looked pregnant because I was so bloated. My Sweet 6 year old daughter said – “Mom – your belly doesn’t look pregnant.” Oh – thank you sweetie. “It looks . . .” I thought she was going to say “normal” or “skinny” . . . but instead she continued “. . . it looks like a snowman’s belly!” :) Lovely. Thanks sweetie. :) At least I do like snowmen!

So – as I didn’t have a ton of energy, and my belly was keeping me from feeling like running around, I decided to do as my heavenly Daddy has been urging me to do lately . . . rest. I pulled out a book I had wanted to read for probably almost a year, and just read it all day long (with a few breaks to watch a movie with my kids and chat with them and love on them).

Roland and Heidi Baker’s book – “Always Enough” had intrigued me a while ago – and I had heard great things about the book. Well – as I told my 15 year old son tonight (as he moaned about feeling like he was “poor”, about his “horrible” life of no video/computer games (he's been grounded), etc) – after reading this book – you will never think you are poor or that you have a miserable life! Wow – what some of these kids/orphans have gone through – what the people of Mozambique have gone through – what the Bakers have gone through. Yet – the continuing theme of the book is – that there is ALWAYS ENOUGH with God. Yes there is.

He is trying to teach me that. He is also trying to teach me more about LOVE – about pressing into it – about living from it – about being a conduit of His love and more. Anytime I ask Him what I should be doing – he says to focus on “love”. I asked Him the other day about my husband – what he should be focusing on (he had asked me to ask God for him) . . . and I got the same answer – “love”. Hmmm . . I’m sensing a theme here. :)

Well – I wanted to tell you about a part of the book that struck me tonight. It’s a part that just completely describes where I am at right now – what God is trying to teach this stubborn girl. :)

In Chapter 7 Heidi is saying how people ask them how they can keep on doing the tiring work that they do – working with the poor, needy, sick, etc. She says “But we have nothing to gain by slowing down and trying to hold onto our lives. We give ourselves as a fragrant offering of love to Jesus, and in return He gives us His supernatural life.” She goes on to quote Romans 8:35-39. But what she says next is where I am:

“We have His love. We have Him! This is no time to be conservative. This is no time to let our hearts be captured by this world. We cannot improve on His will or His life. Let’s concentrate on what captures God’s attention and spend ourselves as He spends Himself. He knows what is worthwhile to do, so let’s learn from Him and not waste our lives. We will never run dry. We always have His resources, because He died for us. Let’s run the race to win and never stop bearing fruit.”

Wow! That is where I am definitely at right now - what God has been teaching me and saying to me! I've been struggling with what I'm supposed to "do" - but He just keeps telling me to "be" with Him - to rest in His love - to spend time with Him - to deepen my intimacy with Him. I've still struggled with just how all that works - if I spend so much time with Him in His presence - how do I get all the "other stuff" done? "He knows what is worthwhile to do . . ." Wow. . . . . He's also been talking to me about His resources - about there always being MORE than enough for what we need. I'm trying to let go. I'm trying to let go of it being dependent on ME. I'm very capable. God knows that. It's been tough for me to let go in many areas - but I'm getting there. :) . . . . I'll get there. :)

Back to Heidi . . . Two chapters later (Chapter 9), she talks about how “All fruitfulness flows from intimacy”. Wow. This is what God has been trying to teach me. I’m slowly getting it. The vision about resting against his heart (and letting His melody of Love fill me up) helped some the other day. This book has helped some too. I’m getting it – slowly – a little more each day.

In this chapter she says (bold and underlining is mine):

“Let Him love you. It’s so much simpler than we thought. It’s time to be transformed by His love so that there is no fear in you. Be wrecked for everything but His presence. Be so utterly abandoned in His love.

. . .

It’s time to lie down and let God be God. He is mighty, and nothing is impossible with Him. He wants to kiss His Church and transform you with His love.

We are called to be carriers of His glory. It’s not about standing up and being an eloquent speaker. It’s about being so close to the heart of God that you know what He’s thinking. Then you’re not afraid to go anywhere and say anything. The Lord Himself will do anything for radical lovers. He captivates us so that we can never go back. He wants to shatter your box. Often your God is still too small. . . .

Lie down so that He can trust you with everyone. Then when you get up there is revival – when whole nations come to Him, falling on their faces. He changes us with one glance of His eyes, so that we are not afraid to be completely abandoned in His arms. Many want lots of power and anointing, but when you just like down and let Him kill you, it’s a good thing. He wants to love you to death.

We are finally realizing that we have failed and that we cannot bring about the kind of revival this world needs. In the secret place of Your heart, Jesus, we will rest. We will lie down. We will listen, until You tell us to stand up. When you tell us to stand up, we know that nations will come to You.

He’s looking for union, not occasional worship, so that our natures are transformed. We must walk in His nature, and we must die daily.

Some people say, “Just get a grip. We’ve already done that.” But it’s a daily thing, a continual laying down. All fruitfulness flows from intimacy. There’s no other place to get it. To the degree that we are united with the heart of Jesus, God will bring fruit in our lives. To the degree that you are in love with Him, you will be fruitful.

I (Heidi) don’t know anything else. I’m so desperate to stay in this place of abandonment. From this place nothing is impossible. I only have on message – passion and compassion. We’re passionate lovers of God, so that we become absolutely nothing. His love fills us. When it’s time to stand up, God stands up with us. We focus on His face, never on our ministry, anointing or numbers.

All I want to do is love God and care for His people. I find them in the garbage, under trees, dying of AIDS. I’m just really simple. Jesus said, “Just look into My eyes," and every thing completely changed. His eyes are filled with love and passion and compassion. Jesus always stops for the dying man, the dying woman and the dying child. That’s all I know, passion and compassion. He calls me to love every single person I see every single day.

There are so many tired Christians and burned-out ministers. Go, go, work, work, rah, rah. Why? We don’t bear much fruit running around like that. But when you’re filled with His passion, fruit happens.

Just focus on His face. You will only make it to the end if you can focus on His face. Focus on His beautiful face. You can’t feed the poor, you can’t go to the street, you can’t see anything happen unless you see His face. One glance of His eyes, and we have all it takes to lie down. We’re not afraid to die.

We give our offerings, but our offering is going to have to be us. We have to say, “Go ahead. Take me. Take everything.” The deal is, you have to see His face. You have to be completely wrecked by His love so that you will hilariously give your life away. You start to love the people you didn’t think you could ever love, even the mean ones. But you have to see His face.

. . .

We need to be in that place. We’re prisoners of love. Some people say, “Oh, how noble. You’re a missionary.” I’m just a prisoner of love. I don’t have any choice. It is joy unspeakable and full of glory. The whole thing. Every part of it. . . . . One glance at His eyes and you’re wrecked forever.

His call is for all of our lives. He calls each of us to be an extravagant, hilarious love offering to Jesus. That’s the place where I believe the glory comes. This glory of His presence that we are so desperate for, that we so need, that we’re so crying out for, that we’re so longing for, that we sing about, comes as we hilariously, totally and completely give away our entire being before Him. We are the sacrifices He ignites with His love, and His presence just falls. He just comes. He is looking for people who will carry His glory. He really, really is.

But you have to be dead in order to carry it. And when you carry the glory, you will carry it out to the poor, the broken, the dying and the lost. You will. That’s the call. That’s the heartbeat of Jesus, that we carry Him out to the broken. But you can’t carry Him until you’ve seen His face. You have to know that holy place.

. . .

God wants to do signs and wonders like we’ve never seen, but we have to see His face. We have to see what He sees and feel what He feels. Otherwise, It’s dangerous and frightening. He can only release His power and anointing to those who will lie down, who will say “Only You” and stay that way every single day.

The only reason I even think of getting on more airplanes is that God spoke to me and said, “Tell the Church it’s time to wake up!” So wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up Church!

This new army doesn’t get tired. You know why? They know how to lie down in His presence. They know how to rest in His arms. They know how to lay their heads on His chest and listen to His huge heart. They weep with Him over the dying, the crying, the broken, the abused and the lost. Do you really think you can work hard and start a revival? Just run out there and get them? You can’t. But when Jesus shows His face and He breathes life into the dry, dry, bony Church, and that Church stands up full of His presence, carrying His glory, nobody can resist anymore!

. . .

(from a vision – about chariots of fire going across the whole world) The Lord said that His glory will cover the earth like the waters cover the sea, and that this revival that began in the late 1990’s will be known not for manifestations, but for intimacy unto harvest.. . . ."

I wasn’t going to type out this much – but I couldn’t help it (I didn't know where to stop!). :) It is sooooo much of what God has been speaking to me – teaching me lately - and over the last couple of years. I just couldn't have said it better!

But - after reading it - I would have to say I am not totally where Heidi is. That’s ok. I’m not Heidi.

I’m Lori – Victorious one – a Warrior Princess of LOVE – carrier and conduit of God’s love . . . and so much more. My life, my mission – is LOVE – in all that entails. LOVE – it’s all about love! That is my message. That is my “main thing” (as in “Keep the main thing – the main thing”).

LOVE!

It is what has transformed me. It is what will transform you – and everyone on this planet. God loves everyone. There is not one single person, alive or dead, that God did or does not love.

We are called to do the same. Can I do it? I am willing to try. I hope so. I know that I cannot on my own – but only through God’s love. It is through Him that I can love. It is really His love that is just flowing through me. That is how I can love. That is how I will love. That is how I will live my life - through His love.

So – my New Year’s resolution for this year is to live my life by this mantra – LOVE – LAUGH – LIVE (instead of Live-Laugh-Love because LOVE should come 1st! It's out of that Love that I can laugh, live and bring life to others!). I want to be a “hilarious love offering to God” as Heidi put it. Lori the lover . . .the Victorious Warrior Lover! :) That’s me!

Who are you? You are definitely not me - or Heidi. so - who are you? What will God have you do through/with His love?

What was your New Year's resolution this year?

Resolve to do DEEPer in God's love this year!

You won't regret it!

L :)