I've been in a season of transition for awhile - feeling like I have been stuck in a "lock" - you know - the kind where a boat goes into, in order to transition from one body of water to another higher (or lower) body of water. I have felt stuck here for awhile . . . waiting . . . waiting . . . not doing much . . . waiting . . . all the while - knowing that there is a huge body of water that I was designed to sail in - to be a part of - to take dominion over and live in . . . my promised land. But for now - I'm stuck . . . in nothingness . . . or so it seems.
However, a lock is not nothingness. It is something. It has a purpose - a very important purpose. The boat needs the lock to get safely to the higher body of water in a quicker way than having to go the long way around to it (or not getting to it at all).
I know that in my head . . . but actually living it out - just "resting" in God's love and not "doing" something . . . it's hard. He's been on my case about just "be"ing instead of always wanting to be "do"ing something for him.
BE with Him . . . instead of striving to DO for Him.
That's hard for me. I've always been a "do"er - a planner . . . but now - I'm supposed to just be a human "be"ing like He created me to be - instead of trying to be a human "do"ing. How do I do that?
So I've been contending for God to reveal more to me about REST. How do I do it? What does that look like - especially when you have 5 kids to take care of and your hand in a bunch of other projects? How long will I have to rest for? When will I get to the big body of water/my promised land? Don't I need to be moving forward towards it - instead of just "resting" . . . whatever that means. . . .
Well - today I asked God what was on His heart. He told me "Write what you see". So I did. Here is what I saw. WOW! Boy did it encourage me and help me to see the importance of resting in/against his love! As a nurse, I do know about rest and how it helps the body and would encourage all my patients to rest to let their bodies heal . . . but sometimes I don't always take my own advice. :) I would also think about how we would get patients up fairly quickly after surgery - to get their blood flowing and moving - to also help them heal (and prevent problems). So -where's the balance?? I'm ready to jump up now God . . . to go . . but you are telling me to just rest??
Well - here you go . . .
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I see your (God's) heart . . . huge – pulsating . . . red, but still multicolored – kind of swirly multi-colored – it’s hard to describe. It’s red – but it’s also all the other colors at the same time . . . kind of like it’s alive and moving. So hard to describe.
I see your heart pulsating . . .slow and strong. It’s a good heartbeat. Nothing stops it. Nothing makes it skip a beat. It’s steady and continuous. It doesn’t stop. It can’t and it won’t. It is huge, strong and immovable.
I see someone, really tiny compared to your heart (your heart is just sitting on the ground or something – but upright) – and they are coming up to your heart and touching it – putting both hands on it and trying to push it over. They are amazed that your heart can just stand there on it’s own – with no support – no connections – nothing to hold it up – but yet it does stay up – beating away. This person tries with all their might to push over the heart – to topple it down. . . but they can’t. It doesn’t even budge! They try harder. They put all their weight into it – pushing, pushing, pushing . . . but nothing happens. They get tired and exhausted and sit down in front of it with their back to the heart – leaning up against it. They don’t know
what to do anymore. They realize that they are never going to budge this heart from it’s spot.
As they lean back and rest –catch their breath – they feel something. They hear something. They notice something that they didn’t notice before. As the heart beats against them and vibrates against their body – a song is being played – being transferred straight into their heart. They can almost feel it – and hear it – but not with their ears. . . .they hear it with their heart. It is not audible to anyone standing around the heart or from a distance – it is only noticeable when you are resting up against the heart. The music transfers directly to this person’s heart.
It’s a beautiful tune – a beautiful melody – full of calm, rest, peace, joy, and lots of love. It fills up this person’s heart and they can actually feel their heart getting full – growing – becoming un-shriveled and filling up. Their heart had become dehydrated – shriveled like a raisin. But this melody – it fills up their heart like a liquid – filling in all the dry areas – filling it up completely full . . . so much so – it starts flowing through their veins. Now this melody is flowing through their veins and into their whole body. As it flows – it brings new life and strength into them. The person feels rejuvenated – alive – new. They hop up and are able to run around – full of strength and energy and joy!
They go back to the heart – and as they barely touch it – they are able to push the heart over. But it’s not in a mean or angry way, and it doesn’t do any damage to the heart – but the heart has become as light as a feather – able to be moved easily and definitely able to be carried around (even though it looks silly and crazy to be able to carry around a heart that is so huge!). It is still beating – still strong – but it is movable now – easy to transport and carry to other places. I see this person carrying the heart to new areas, new lands. He sets the heart down and it stands up like it did before – strong, unmovable . . . well – unmovable to other people. He is able to move it – he is able to carry it – but others come up and try and try to push against it with all their might and nothing happens. It doesn’t budge. But this man is able to carry it and move it. Easily – as light as a feather.
The music flows through his veins even when he is not touching the heart. It is still flowing through his body via his heart. He loves that music. It makes him dance. It makes him sing. It makes him joyful and happy. Others see him and are curious. They don’t hear the music – so they don’t understand what he is singing – why he is singing – what he is dancing to. They think he is a bit strange . . . but he shows them.
“Here, sit by this heart. Lean up against it. Just rest. Don’t do anything. In fact – don’t even look towards it – but lean your back up against it. Just lean back and rest against it. You will hear it – you will see what I’m talking about – why I’m dancing and singing and full of joy!”
So they do – they sit down and lean back against it . . . more out of curiosity than anything. There are some that don’t even want to try . . . they’ll just watch others. But they think it’s all a hoax. How can just leaning up against something like this really transfer music into your body. It’s impossible. Maybe they are just feeling the beating of the heart and that tricks their mind into thinking they have music in them. They really don’t – right?
These poor people. They will never get it – until they try it. They will explain it away, rationalize, intellectualize, have theories, research studies, and supposed “eyewitnesses” of people who have experienced it and can prove it’s a fraud. How sad. How terribly sad.
But the people who actually take the man up on his offer – to really rest against the heart – and I mean FULLY rest (not even trying to hear or feel anything – but just sitting there to rest) – they do start to hear it. It amazes them! They get up quickly – but it’s too soon. Their heart has not been filled yet. It was just a little that got in - a drop – and as soon as they got up, the excitement and music quickly faded. “Hey . . . how come it’s not working?”
“Sit back down and rest! Rest till you are completely FILLED and it is FLOWING through your veins! You are still dehydrated – still shriveled . . . there is a lot of filling that needs to happen. So REST! I’ll tell you when it’s time to get up!’ the man says to the people.
Some of them sit back down and fully rest – but others are “too busy”. “Well – I tried.” They say to themselves. “I guess it just doesn’t really work for me.” Some of them even convince themselves that maybe they were already full enough. It was nice music – but they have other music that they dance and sing to . . . so it’s ok. They have too much to do anyways. Maybe if they get some more time later on, then they will come back and rest some more.
But those that go back to resting – get completely filled up!! The melody and music starts flowing through their veins as well. NOW they are able to get up and run around – with endless energy – AND – they now realize that they too can pick up and move this huge heart – just like the person that came and showed them! WOW! So cool!
The music is IN them now. It is NOT external. It is IN them . . . wherever they go. They have the melody of God’s heart flowing through them at all times. It gives them life. It gives them strength. It gives them purpose and energy. It directs them and makes them want to go to new territories – new lands. The old life seems dull and boring now. The old music is useless. It did nothing but tickled the ears . . . but THIS music – THIS music actually DOES something! It is ALIVE! It is LIFE! It is eternal and endless and amazing . . . it’s indescribable!
Soon there are a lot of people running around – fully rested, filled and capable of moving and carrying God’s heart around – to show other people – to help others become filled. But it all came when they rested . . . when they stopped PUSHING against God’s heart and love – and instead, chose to REST UP against it – to lean into it – in a place of total dependency. There was nothing they could do to make the music transfer to their heart . . . other than to just rest up against God’s heart.
And now – God’s melody of love will be carried around the world – by a bunch of heart carriers and conduits of God's love – all dancing and singing to the beat and melody of God’s heart! So cool!!
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What do you think? Does it make you want to go rest now?! I want to!
Later on today God showed me something else related to resting that encouraged me. Instead of having to walk and trek through the woods, up hills, down valleys, through the mud, etc - to get to my promised land . . . God told me to "wait . . . wait here."
Why? Don't I need to keep moving forward to get to where I need to be?
Nope . . . A plane was coming! It was going to take me to the next place I needed to be! It was ok to take the plane - and it was also ok to have fun and enjoy the people I am waiting with! Cool!
He said - at some point all the people waiting will all get on their own planes - but for now - wait, rest, have fun, laugh, stop striving (it won't make the plane come quicker), and enjoy where God has put us! :)
Ok . . . I can do that!
Anyone up for some FUN?! :)
Rest DEEP against (and in) God's heart and love today!
Ephesians 5:18-20 - "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.